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What To Do With The Girl I Like After Her Breakup?
2 Answers
Hello everyone! It's my first time posting here, and my first time in actually doing this kind of stuff since I'm used to only read forums and such and not post a thread.
Okay, so there's this girl that I met in my elective class earlier this year (around January) and she happened to be my group mate. She's 3 years older than me in age, and I did not really noticed her until the next term (around late May) when she also happened to be a friend of my friend (a girl also). I learned that she has already 2 kids but she did not end up with the guy. We only became actual friends this term (September) although we knew each other by faces because she became my group mate and has been my friend in Facebook since that last 2 terms and also because of common friends.
Last week, my friend added me in a group conversation in Facebook with our other friends, and she's also there, and they want to hang out somewhere during the long weekend, and then it was decided it will be in our house. Then they came last monday and it is my first time having a conversation with her like a friend, I mean, not a small talk kind of conversation. Then we began chatting in Facebook after, and then we hang out together last week. I learned she just ended up her thing with a guy earlier this month, which is a professor in our university and 15+ years her senior, and she told me it was her 2nd true love which I thought was, of course, painful for her given her situation in life (and I hate the guy for leaving her like that, although I don't know the whole story, but that professor also failed me in the evaluation of my project last term).
The thing is, I like her, and I don't know what to do. None of our friends know I really like her, but they always tease her to me, and she, well, she seems okay with it because she rides along with them (I don't know the correct term, and yes, I also ride with their jokes on me). She shared her Tumblr to me, which has private posts about her life, and I'm kind of confused because I read her posts about the guy, but then she said she's already moving on, but doesn't feel like it.
How will I approach her? I want us to get to know each other more and I don't know the right way to lead us there. I'm afraid I might get a little too far or early. My friend told me she's more of a straightforward-type of girl, and with what she had already experienced, she's finding more of a very serious relationship, and I was thinking, maybe she'll not be interested on me because of I'm not yet in that level, and I have many things to yet accomplish or prove first.
PS. Sorry in advance, I'm not good at some correct English terms, and my post is too long and detailed.
Okay, so there's this girl that I met in my elective class earlier this year (around January) and she happened to be my group mate. She's 3 years older than me in age, and I did not really noticed her until the next term (around late May) when she also happened to be a friend of my friend (a girl also). I learned that she has already 2 kids but she did not end up with the guy. We only became actual friends this term (September) although we knew each other by faces because she became my group mate and has been my friend in Facebook since that last 2 terms and also because of common friends.
Last week, my friend added me in a group conversation in Facebook with our other friends, and she's also there, and they want to hang out somewhere during the long weekend, and then it was decided it will be in our house. Then they came last monday and it is my first time having a conversation with her like a friend, I mean, not a small talk kind of conversation. Then we began chatting in Facebook after, and then we hang out together last week. I learned she just ended up her thing with a guy earlier this month, which is a professor in our university and 15+ years her senior, and she told me it was her 2nd true love which I thought was, of course, painful for her given her situation in life (and I hate the guy for leaving her like that, although I don't know the whole story, but that professor also failed me in the evaluation of my project last term).
The thing is, I like her, and I don't know what to do. None of our friends know I really like her, but they always tease her to me, and she, well, she seems okay with it because she rides along with them (I don't know the correct term, and yes, I also ride with their jokes on me). She shared her Tumblr to me, which has private posts about her life, and I'm kind of confused because I read her posts about the guy, but then she said she's already moving on, but doesn't feel like it.
How will I approach her? I want us to get to know each other more and I don't know the right way to lead us there. I'm afraid I might get a little too far or early. My friend told me she's more of a straightforward-type of girl, and with what she had already experienced, she's finding more of a very serious relationship, and I was thinking, maybe she'll not be interested on me because of I'm not yet in that level, and I have many things to yet accomplish or prove first.
PS. Sorry in advance, I'm not good at some correct English terms, and my post is too long and detailed.
Answers
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.For what it's worth, I think most of my failures were probably down to too little too late farther than too far too soon. But of course the best thing is to find that balance. Whether she is interested or not is her decision, and I suspect there is little you can do to influence that; what you can do is show an interest and see what develops. If she is into older rather than younger guys then you just have to shrug and move on, as it were. I didn't spot where you said your age, (apologies if I missed it) but be aware that she does have kids which may be difficult if you are young and something serious results. Meanwhile it is the usual tactic of keeping in touch, asking if she would like to go to some social thing with you, build up the friendship and hope for one to one type occasions. Remember the old adage, faint heart never won fair lady.