Should I Come Out?

[20winkZ]

im sorry it's a long read so i'll sum it up here (read below for an in depth look): should i tell my parents i'm bisexual (though i may never have a girlfriend) and how do i say i'm genderfluid (without making sound like 'just a phase')??

I discovered i was bisexual a while ago and came out to my friends no problem. i was wondering if i should tell my parents. the thing is though, i probably wont have a girlfriend anytime soon because i've been with a boy for 1 1/2 almost now and it seems to be still be going strong. even if i did have a girlfriend for a bit it wouldn't be long at all. bottom line is that i dont think i should tell them i am because it'll never really affect them in anyway. if i brought home a girl one day and said she was now my girlfriend i would do it then of course, proudly. i probably won't. so i dont think i should bother.
Also this one other thing...i'm genderfluid. (i switch from boy to girl) i have to explain this to them eventually because i've only recently started showing it. i tested the waters more than enough and i know that this is what i want to be right now. it might not be forever (because the world is harsh like that...i have to choose one or the other not be both) so do i even say anything? my dad isn't so crazy about it which makes me nervous. i love being able to be free like this...to be a boy one day and a girl the next. it's what i've wanted since i was little. i thought i was just a tomboy, heck maybe thats all it is, but it feels so good to be a boy AND a girl. i know i have to say something about it eventually but...how? and when do i even bring it up?

[jomifl]

How old are you? and what is your nominal gender?

[jomifl]

Wait for your homones to settle down, they will determine what you are, not your brain.

[ummmm]

Jom...you believe that?

[20winkZ]

oopsy
i'm 17 and originally female

[Sqad]

"Genderfluid!........ah!.....genderfluid! Now i understand..........yes.

Wait until your Dad is watching Chile v Brazil and then say :

"Hey Dad, I am genderfluid."

That should go down well.

[jomifl]

ummm, it isn't a matter of belief..

[jim360]

If you don't think you should tell your parents, then don't, at least not for now. The point at which you should tell them is when it becomes something that you know, instinctively, that holding back the secret is no longer an option. At the moment it sounds that you don't feel any need to share it. Under those circumstances it might be best not to.

Coming out can be a difficult time for all concerned. When you feel that you need to, don't let the fear of how hard it might be hold you back from coming out, but to end where I started, you don't seem to "need" to. So I don't think you should. But only you will know whether you should come out or not.

[dancecaller]

I wish people could just be 'themselves', 'me', without having to put a M/F label.
What it means to be one or the other has changed in the public mind over time anyway.
Being female isn't just being what we are sold by advertisers, you don't have to be a Barbie Doll. But if you sometimes want to 'dress up', why not.
Maybe I'm missing something when you say you 'switch from boy to girl'.

Maybe your conversations with them could be general, about they, and you think it means to be M & F and what the difference is.

Except when you are in a relationship I don't think gender should matter. Just be yourself - or whichever aspect of yourself you want to emphasis at any given time.

To an extent we all 'put on an act' in public - when I started looking for bookings as a Dance Caller I used a new name (an abbreviated version of my name) because I felt I needed to put on a more outgoing 'self'.

[kvalidir]

Do whatever makes you happy, if you're gender fluid you are gender fluid and people will have to deal with that. I consider myself bi-sexual but with a strong preference for men, that being said I never bothered to ' come out' to my parents about it because it's not relevant to me at the moment but also because it just cropped up in normal conversation. Likewise my gay brother didn't 'out himself' he just turned up with a guy and said ' this is my new boyfriend so and so' and everyone was like ' Oh hi...'.
I don't see the need to make a huge drama and ' come out'. Straight people don't do it and really gay, bi, gender fluid, transgendered people etc shouldn't have to either, it should just be accepted that someone you love is however they turn out to be. If it's not then it's not you who have the problem it's the person with the problem.

[Peter Pedant]

No

you clearly are not sure what is going on,
so you cant expect them to.

[Hypognosis]

Would it be insensensitive of me to suggest that the whole point of coming out is to put your parents out of - potentially - many years of misery, waiting to find out if you will ever provide them with grandchildren? It's not the answer 'no' that hurts, it's the being kept 'out of the loop'.

At least I guess as much, gleaned from TV debates and such. Overriding the most primal urge of your own DNA is quite an achievement and something I actually admire LGBT people for.