Would You Read This Manga?

[Mistykasumi]

I am 14 and i am going to make a manga soon,i would like to know if my plot is good,interesting,original to become a manga,i would also like to know if you have any questions about my plot(so i could fix the plot and so i wouldn't make the worst manga in the world)

Plot: It takes place in the 1980's in the state of Florida, it is about a 17-18 year old boy named Alex who is a shut in taking care of his depressed mother who couldn't get over the fact that Alex's father abandoned them to focus on his drug cartel in Miami.One day Alex is on his Nintendo entertainment system until he suddenly gets a phone call from his father, Alex's father was calling to say goodbye to Alex because there was a rival drug cartel called '' The Razors'' that are trying to take over his drug cartel and there is a drug war going on that he might die in.Alex tells his father that he would run away from home to Miami with his 3 friends and try to help him escape the war and bring him back home. But Alex's father doesn't believe him, he ask's Alex questions about running away from home for example '' where will you eat,sleep,etc. What are your friends reasons for coming with you?'' Alex answers the questions but is not sure about them. But Alex vows to save his father on his journey and will keep his friends alive, so Alex and his friends goes on their journey from Tallahassee to Miami to save Alex's father.However, with the razors being all around the state of Florida this trip may cost Alex and his friends their lives.
(NOTE: some of might think why Alex's friends are going with him, the answer is that Alex's friends try to talk him out of the journey, but get intrigued to go with him.

SO what do you think of my idea? PLEASE give me your critique if my story plot is good or not.Thanks!

[Butterbun]

At your age you could write about a group having an adventure without getting mixed up in drugs gangs.

[boxtops]

I don't know what a manga is - can you explain, please?

what's a shut? this is a UK site, we might not understand your terminology.

[shoota]

I think he is a 'shut in' Boxy - a 'stay at home'.

[Captain2]

manga (ˈmæŋɡə)
n, pl manga
1. (Journalism & Publishing)
a. a type of Japanese comic book with an adult theme
b. (as modifier): manga videos.

[Henrietta]

Wow, that is shockingly coherent for a 14 yr old. Is this your first manga? Do you also illustrate?

What was your inspiration for this manga in particular? Films/Other mangas? Real life?

[Henrietta]

Btw great storyline :)

[boxtops]

So you're in Japan, misty?

[jourdain2]

Well, I've learned a new word with 'manga'. Is Alex a 'shut-in' because his caring duties forbid going out of the house? I'm wary of Alex persuading so many friends to accompany him if he has been so reclusive. Also what happens to his mum? If Alex has been so dutiful in the past, even if he is torn between his mother and father why will he now abandon her?

Answer is,that I would write it anyway and resolve these problems as you go - you obviously have the ability to write.

[Mistykasumi]

Oh, a manga is a Japanese graphic novel, and yes this is my first manga i will ever be making, my inspiration for this manga plot was Pokemon and scarface.Also Alex IS a shut-in,because of his depressed mother, Alex doesn't have the time to go out the house except go to the supermarket and buy foods.

PS: My name is Misty,but since i don't want to reveal my full name, i nicknamed it.

[sandyRoe]

Who'll be looking after his mom when he's off saving his pop?

[Canary42]

You definitely need to resolve the contradiction - must stay at home to look after mother - but is embarking on a trip to Miami to save his father. The tension of this dilemma could be a very significant part of the narrative, so you need to give it some careful thought as to how you are going to handle it. Good luck, you've got a potential success here.

[kvalidir]

I read tons of Manga and yes I'd read this one. You will need to resolve the looking after mother thing and the saving father thing- how long has the father been gone as well would make a massive difference to how the protagonist would react both to the initial call and to leaving his mother.

[sandyRoe]

Another problem I see. Alex could travel through the territory controlled by an enemy drug gang and be none the wiser. And they wouldn't know him, either.
If The Razors were holding his father hostage to make his own group give up territory then there'd be a place for Alex to travel to and confront the enemy.

[Peter Pedant]

This has been posted in a few sites
What did the others say ?

[Slapshot]

No.... too much fantasy in this world, stops people facing reality

[Mistykasumi]

Slapshot, what do you mean?

[Slapshot]

I find that young people today are immersed in a fantasy world, TV, Movies, computer games: you name it, manga are yet another media that portray a fantasy world, reality is hard enough to grasp for some.

[sandyRoe]

Have you given any thought to my suggestions on Sunday, 5th Oct?

[Mistykasumi]

Yeah i am! I am thinking about using your suggestions.