I deserve to have a life too!

[Fairygarden]

At the age of 17 my father died on my mother's 40th birthday. As time went by my sisters left home but I stayed living with my mum until I was 26 yrs old. My mother was not happy for me when I told her I was engaged to be married. She was definitely not happy for me to move out and start my own life. She has never really accepted my husband and makes his life hell as well as my own. She always seemed to be trying to make me choose between them. I know she blames him for taking me away from her - as she sees it! She has had a life of her own, do I not deserve to have one too? (My mother did not even have a close relationship with her own mother and did not even attend her mother's funeral!) I have tried so hard for us all to get on. But my mother never says sorry and it has always had to be me making up with her. Unfortunately, we had a big fall out and I have not spoken to her for approx 18 months now! I left it to her to make up this time! As my children are her only grandchildren I have allowed them to ring her every weekend or so. One of my sisters now lives back home with my mother and is the go-between! My mother never rings, it's my sister who has to ring and passes the phone to my mother to speak to my children. This is becoming very frustrating at the moment as my mother even goes on at the children for not ringing her more often, writing to her more and on one occassion even hung up on them and they are only very small! My sisters keep wanting me to visit, but my husband says no, he's had enough! She has physically attacked him in the past and he hates her. What do I do? The only answer I can see is to forget I have a mother and hope I can hold on to the little relationship I have left with my sisters! Thus saving my marriage with my husband.