Can Someone Help With A Nice Reply Please Xx

[boona]

So today I get this msg from one of the mums from school. Her daughter is in the same class as mine and they are both 8yrs old. I don't know how to respond as I don't want to fall out with the mum but when I asked my daughter she said she has no idea why this girl is telling her mum this and she doesn't know what she is talking about and she thinks the girl is making it up. On the other hand I know that my girl can be outspoken but I wouldn't say mean.

This is what the mum put..

D has talked about times at school when T has said or done things, personally I have felt that these have been quite mean but I’ve tried to let it go but I can’t any longer as I feel it’s affecting D's self esteem. I teach her to be a good friend etc and it’s sad sometimes when her friends aren’t always nice. I know you won’t mind me messaging you and I thought this was the right thing to do.

[Mamyalynne]

Firstly I'd stay calm and reply to the other Mum that you've had a chat and your Daughter does not recall being mean and suggest perhaps a light lunch or tea meeting where you could all smooth things over.

If your Daughter is up for that.

[kvalidir]

Can't improve on what Mamy said really. Certainly sometimes everything everyone says is true- to them.
I know our family are outspoken and quite banterish and that sometimes comes as a shock to more sensitive souls, so your daughter might indeed not ever have been mean, just been normal for your family, and the other little girl might be shocked because her family are a bit more sensitive and touchy feely.
Use it as a good learning experience for both little girls and have a nice tea as Mamy suggested x

[boona]

Thankyou, the other girl is known to be sensitive and my girl just doesn't think sometimes. I have no idea what she could have said as it sounds like it has been going on a while..

[Ric.ror]

What I can tell you as a granny (going through something similar with a 7 year old) is one minute their best friends and the next their enemies, and, like all things this too shall pass. So don’t be to worried and maybe a little word with the teacher if it gets any worse
I’m so glad I had boys though xxxx

[Mamyalynne]

They need to develop a mutual understanding of both how similar they are and how different too, their friendship may grow or it may wither but best discussed now.

[bednobs]

It would be helpful if the mum was a bit more specific. I'd be tempted to call her rather than message tho

[Maydup]

Its also worth asking what it is that T does that D considers mean. You'll not know otherwise. whether its T being a bit outspoken and a bit over bearing or D being ultra sensitive.

[SparklyKid]

Ignore it and just let the kids get on with it.

[Buenchico]

Text messages are a pathetic way of dealing with delicate matters. They can so easily be misunderstood. DON'T reply by text. PHONE your friend's mother instead, so that you can discuss things in a friendly manner.

[EDDIE51]

^ totally agree with that. Text is SO easy to misunderstand.

[calmck]

Another Granny who has gone through the same thing. Definitely do not message. I agree ask your daughter if you both and the other mum and daughter can meet to discuss what upset the other one. Let the one girl say what she thought was mean and take it from there. Good luck

[boona]

Thankyou, I am not sure about all meeting up to discuss, it might turn into a she said this and she said that argument between the girls

[Barmaid]

Agree that talking not texting is the way forwards.

Listen. Listen. Listen. Think before you respond rather than react.

Could be very easily dealt with, calm reasoned approach. Her child could be over sensitive; yours could appear over bearing. Two adult parents with a rational approach and all will be fine.

[Mamyalynne]

As the first one to respond what I meant by reply - I meant make contact.

I don't think in terms of text because I don't text.

Good luck with it all.

[andy-hughes]

From my experience of raising three girls, I know that girls can be, as said previously, friends one day, and enemies the next, and friends the day after that.

It is easy to get roped into squabbles, but it's also inadvisable.

I think the advice offered is sound - have a chat with the other mum, who is concerned for her child, and nothing wrong with that, and keep everything light and easy and try to encourage her to see that spats are part of growing up, and adults getting involved solves nothing at all.

Good luck.