Lonely

[allenlondon]

My mum, wiser than I ever gave her credit for when she lived, used to say of one talkative elderly neighbour, “She’s probably just lonely.”

Mum lived alone at the time, my dad having died 15 years before, and me having long since moved out.

So her understanding of the neighbour’s life was probably based on her own.

I am so sorry for not recognising this when I could have done something for her.

I would guess that many on this site live alone.

Are you lonely? How do you cope with this depressing condition?

A

[rowanwitch]

I do a few things, I do very fine embroidery that requires intense focus this stops me feeling anything until my eyes hurt. I eat carbs until I fall asleep, and I come on here,and Facebook and I write poetry. I tell myself I am rubbish with other people anyway so it's better this way.

[Mozz71]

I just take every day as it comes and try not to talk to myself too much.

[Spicerack]

I endeavour to make allowances for everyone, not just the lonely. Who knows why some people are the way they are?

[dannyk13]

I have lived on my own for 16 years, the last 5 being housebound due to COPD.I have never really felt lonely nor depressed.I do try to keep my brain active and exercise as much as I can.I may be wrong but I think that loneliness is more prevalent amongst women.

[emmie]

not going on the stats danny.

[allenlondon]

danny. Yes, I think women, older ones especially, get a worse deal in this regard.

[dannyk13]

Emmie,I stand corrected then :-)

[emmie]

women tend to outlive men, so if they are lonely its maybe because they lost their spouse.. but that doesn't stop one from finding another or other interest.

[emmie]

more women attend community centres and take up a hobby i think than men.

[emmie]

i get lonely sometimes, but that's my own fault. I do get out but not as much as i should. I prefer the summer months when its warm, i tend to hibernate this time of the year.

[eleanor2]

Reflecting allen. We are who we are and we all do what we do time & again, it's how things are. Who's to say your mum saw things the way you are seeing them.

[emmie]

wise words eleanor

[barry1010]

Men can be very much affected by loneliness and I think this is one of the major reasons so many men commit suicide. Interesting article here https://www.happiness.com/en/magazine/health-body/male-loneliness-time-bomb-killing-men/

[Bobbisox1]

I enjoy my own company but having said that I've never been forcefully alone

[emmie]

the age range for men's suicides is quite low though isn't it???

[woofgang]

I live alone except for the dog ands the tortoises but I am not lonely, not even in lockdown. my sister visits (we are bubbled) but she is the only person I could actually bear to live with or spend much time with. My experience is that the company of others doesn't replace the lost loved one. Lonliness and bereavement may happen together but they are not the same.

[allenlondon]

I would suggest legalising suicide, particularly suicide pacts between partners.

How else are we to go with dignity, and together, and not 'deserting' the other one?

A

[Theland]

Dad was lonely for twelve years after Mum died and my younger brother moved out. My sister and her husband saw him every day and took him for a lunchtime pint.
I used to telephone him once a week and tried to go see him about every three weeks, bit looking back on it all, I feel guilty and could have done more.

[emmie]

i don't see my family, brothers and their wives, children more than twice a year. distance and a whole load of other complications come into play

[allenlondon]

Lovely children, and I’m sure it helped him.

But nothing can compensate for the loss of a lifetime partner, nothing at all.

We know death is fast approaching, but to be separated by it, for non-believers, that tears out your heart.

Lucky Theland with your God.