I Am Supposed To To What I Am Told

[JinnyJoan]

Sister in 3 different hospitals has behaved badly.  Some screams from her I had to run on the corridors I couldn't bear the screams.

Yesterday in a nursing home she is coming round and telling me to be "a good girl and not to yelling at her as I was telling her to eat 

If she only but knew how badly she behaved during those 9 weeks and for me to be able to cope I can't believe it.

 

Yes I know the first 3 weeks she was under the influence of the medication but then to tell me what I am supposed to do - she has been told what to do regarding her big house and transference of a small bungalow but absolutely refused to do what she is supposed to do but I am supposed to do in what I should be do

 

She is an extremely victorialy person and wants everything her way but she is a vulnerable lady and need to understand what the authorities tell her what to do.  She is not going to do it so I cannot tell her what to do and   -   AND I AM OUT OF THE WHOLE SITUATION.  

 

It is is wrecking me too.

[calmck]

Unfortunately this behaviour is very common in the elderly after an accident and surgery, especially in someone who has always been very independant. Doing what she is told at her age is like a telling a toddler what to do, almost a second childhood. The nursing home staff should be able to help. Maybe a psychologist who specialises in the elderly and trauma coud help. In the meantime you need to take care of yourself and have the nursing staff be responsible for her care and treatment. They will be used to all types of behaviour from their patients.

[Smowball]

Sounds incredibly stressful JJ and I honestly don't know how ypuve managed but you must think of your own health too. If your sister is refusing to eat then there isn't much you can do, apart from let staff know which I'm sure they do. But if your sister was suddenly sent home she would quickly realise that she simply cannot cope in that house. 

[barry1010]

I feel for you, JJ. Terrible to see someone you live in this situation, a big strain on you.

Your sister is facing enormous changes in herself and her way of life and it's a lot to cope with. 

You're both frightened. Stay at home today, have a well deserved break. You've got to look after yourself, too 

[barry1010]

How you doing today, JJ?  

[Barmaid]

JJ, does she have mental capacity?  Ie - has she got health issues that make it difficult for her to make a decision or is she just being stubborn?  If she does not have capacity, then perhaps someone ought to be appointed to help her make decisions which might help take the pressure off you.

I'm not sure what you mean about her house, but no-one can tell her what to do.  If she has capacity she ought to make that decision herself.