ChatterBank1 min ago
Im a 15 year old male and my girlfriend is 26 year old
i'm wondering if i can have some help with this. My girlfriend and me want to move in with each other because we love each other more than anything in the world, but she's got 5 kids already and i want one of my own with her. Would her or me get in trouble for doing sexual thing's.
i really need help with this because i'm getting really stressed out for what is the right thing to do, it will even be harder because she lives in south devon and i live in north devon and that means she will be moving over 100 miles just to be with me.
i will be greatful for any help.. thanx.
Alistair xxx
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I think you are not entirely serious with this question Alistair.
At fifteen, you must still be under the supervision of a parent or guardian, who will not be impressed at the prospect of you entering an illegal 9you are under age) sexual relationship with a woman.
Why not read a good book instead of messing about on your computer?
Hi andy,
I am serious about this, why do you think i put this on here in the first place, well sorry but i'm too busy to read a book!
but you can, instead of telling people what to do.
i'm sorry again, it's just i dont like people telling me what to do, not even my family does that, because i got a nasty temper.
If you've got a nasty temper, you should stay well away from young children until you have matured enough to maintain control in these matters. That probably sounds worse than it was intended.
That may sound preachy, but children require stability and an even handed approach to discipline, not sudden outbursts of anger masquerading as discipline.
Despite your feelings for this woman and hers for you, sex with a fifteen year old is illegal in the UK and an imprisonable offence. Her children would suffer all the more if they went into care.
Surprisingly, you may need to act the adult in this situation and I hope you can, if only for the welfare of the children. Sorry, I'm not more encouraging.
I know you dont want people telling you what to do and your probably just on AB looking for some friendly advice.
to answer your question firstly, YES if you have a sexual relationship with your girlfriend, she probably would get into serious trouble and chances are social services could take her children into care and she would be placed on a sex offenders register.
The right thing to do, is give you time to experince a bit more of life, i know you say she means the world to you, but so did my boyfriend when i was 15, im now 23 and we grow up so quickly and we change through the years, give yourself a chance, you can still be her friend, but it will cause so much trouble especially for her.
when i was 18 i went with a man 16 years older than me who had a child, we split up when i was 21, the age difference eventually killed us, plus i turned 21 and wanted to start having fun like everyone else my age, not saving up for shoes for his kid or child care and things!
speaking from experience it may seem at the moment it will make you happy as it did me but then you start changing.
xx
I was just about to say exactly the same thing Sam82!!Like you I thought I was madly in love at 15/16,but looking back now it was nothing like the feelings I experienced as I got older.I feel for you Alistair, but maybe you should take things a little more slowly, you will grow and change as a person as you get older and what you believe you really want more than anything now may be completely different in a year,or even only a few months.I'm not saying it neccessarily will,but you need to take it into account and maybe wait til you're a bit older to settle down and take on so much responsibility (I don't mean to sound patronising) but you have all your life in front of you,don't you want to go out and have fun and shirk responsibility as long as possible? I did. God,now i'm depressed wishing I was 15 again,lol. Take care Alistair, try and think seriously about what we've said,we're only trying to help!
Hello again Alistair
If I have mis-read your question as being a hoax, and it is genuine, then i hope you will accept my sincere apologies.
The gist of my reply is still valid however - you are legally too young for a sexual relationship, and I would suggest, as others have done, that this is too big a step too soon for someone of your age. I am not trying to suggest that your feelings are invalid, just that the strains caused by this situation may be more than you are aware.
I do speak from experience - my wife was married before, and had two children, and we were in our thirties when we got married, and it still was far from easy!
Take a little time, discuss this isue with your parents, and think long and hard before you proceed any further.
i have a bad temper, but i will never use it to harm little kids, i would never dream of it. And i'm a martial artist and i know when to use my temper and when not to use, but it would never get used in front of kids. And i'm used to being nice to little kids, because i help my Sensei play games with them.
Well thanks everyone for you're help, i think i will take the advice, because i would never want anything to happen to the lovely kids and my girlfriend. I just hope i go for the right thing in life, her and the kids that love me or someone who dont because she is the first person to love me like this. And if i do the wrong thing i've lost everything i've ever dreamed of.
Alistair xxx
Dear Alistair, FirstlyI think that you know in your heart of hearts that moving in with your girlfriend at this time might not be right ting to do, otherwise you would have not have logged on. The problem is that none of us know you, so our advise is only what we would do if we were in your shoes, but with our own hindsight to fall back on. I don't disagree with any of the advice that has been posted, but you might feel happier if you talked to some-one who knows you. It sounds like that you trust your Sensei and he knows you well. Could you ask him for advise? If statistics are right, you should have roughly another sixty odd years left on this planet..... please don't act in haste and end up relenting at leisure!!! Best of luck!
Out of interest and sorry if you take this the wrong way ..She has 5 children, does she work? If she is she must be paying a fortune in nursery fees.
You're 15 so at the moment you'll probably only be able to find imployment in a low paid job and you want more kids so who is paying for all these children?
Also you say you won't get angry with the children, but andy hughes asked a perfectly valid question and you immediately flew off the handle. Playing with children when you can walk away is a lot different to actually being a parent to them.
How to her kids feel about a child (and you still are a child at 15) being their dad?
Time to put this to bed, I think, instead of pussy-footing around!
Firstly Aikido123, as has been pointed out and as you have accepted, the idea that you should live with this woman is not wise from a legal point of view.
Secondly, leaving aside how your �girlfriend� supports herself, how on earth do you expect to support yourself? Or do you expect either your girlfriend or the taxpayer to do so for you?
You say that you dislike people telling you what to do and (reading between the lines) you lose your temper when they do so. Well, little chum, throughout your life you will encounter people �telling you what to do�. To mention just a few, there will be your family (if they hope to instil some discipline into you), teachers (if you attend school), employers (if you get a job), your girlfriend (when she disapproves of your behaviour), the police (if you misbehave), and the courts (if you are subsequently prosecuted). All of these people may well �tell you what to do�. You have to deal with it. It�s called living in a structured and civilised society. If you lose your temper with any of them (particularly the last two) you will find that your martial artistry cuts little ice.
If and when you grow up (and not all men manage to do so) you will realise how foolish you were even to have considered the action you are asking advice on now. You will also wonder how, at 15, �all you ever dreamt of� was to live with a woman almost old enough to be your mother, and her five children.
Good luck with your life and try not to lose your temper!
Firstly Aikido123, as has been pointed out and as you have accepted, the idea that you should live with this woman is not wise from a legal point of view.
Secondly, leaving aside how your �girlfriend� supports herself, how on earth do you expect to support yourself? Or do you expect either your girlfriend or the taxpayer to do so for you?
You say that you dislike people telling you what to do and (reading between the lines) you lose your temper when they do so. Well, little chum, throughout your life you will encounter people �telling you what to do�. To mention just a few, there will be your family (if they hope to instil some discipline into you), teachers (if you attend school), employers (if you get a job), your girlfriend (when she disapproves of your behaviour), the police (if you misbehave), and the courts (if you are subsequently prosecuted). All of these people may well �tell you what to do�. You have to deal with it. It�s called living in a structured and civilised society. If you lose your temper with any of them (particularly the last two) you will find that your martial artistry cuts little ice.
If and when you grow up (and not all men manage to do so) you will realise how foolish you were even to have considered the action you are asking advice on now. You will also wonder how, at 15, �all you ever dreamt of� was to live with a woman almost old enough to be your mother, and her five children.
Good luck with your life and try not to lose your temper!
If you are only 15 you dont want to do that, you shouldn't evan be thinking of kids till you are in your mid 20's +. you can not be a father at 15, Or evan a stepfather. find a girl your own age. take a look at the average couple and see how long they last. my son is 16 and I Know he thinks he's 20 but he is still a kid as I am sure you are.
get marriage out of the picture, you are to young to be a dad and be tied down, you wont go to college , you wont get a high paying job. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.!!!
get marriage out of the picture, you are to young to be a dad and be tied down, you wont go to college , you wont get a high paying job. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.!!!
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