Slow Fussy Eater - Complete lack of interest in food

[jlbharper]

My 5 year old is driving me insane. He is under-weight and under-height (9th centile) he has always been a slow and fairly fussy eater. He is always reluctant to try new foods we have tried bribes, rewards charts etc he is now going through a phase of not liking all his old favourites and says that they make him sick. He is an incredibly slow eater and we often land up feeding him to get the meal over with usually an hour each night. He has recently started school and since September has lost 3lb in weight, he insists on staying for school dinners but clearly is not eating them, (now on sandwiches and not eating them) we have tried all the advice so far, don't make a fuss, the child will eat when hungry (mine will eat the absolute minimum to survive) only give small portions, don't give snacks between meals, little and often, encourage him to cook/prepare meal, (Gina Ford eat your heart out) give a choice on meals etc, etc, etc, can't really afford to ignore that lack of interest in food as don't want him to loose any more weight. Any suggestions greatly appreciated

[sense4all]

Have you had allergy testing done for food reactions?

Could he be gluten and/or lactose intolerant for instance?What do your doctor and health visitor advise?

If they can't offer real help themselves ask for a referal to a dieitcian - nutritionist, make sure that they realise just how worried you are.

It is a really tough call but if you feel something is wrong stick to your guns and do not be fobbed off ...I hate it when health proffesionals play the paranoid mother card. In the last few instances of friends persuing issues they have been right in five out of six cases.

I do wonder if the not eating at school is a class wide issue, ask the other mothers. A couple of years ago when our school was pushed to investigate , it transpired that one dinner lady couldn't wait to get shot of the kids - as once they were outside they were no longer her responsibility. Charming ! Is the loss of weight because he is running about a lot more now he is at school?Keeping up with the other little dynamos playing chase games , football etc. Hope this gives you a few ideas to peruse and follow up if necessary.

[kick3m0n]

I agree with the above, you need to be strong and get this sorted. Your gut feeling is telling you this is a problem, and so you're very probably right. After all, we know them best, don't we? I'd definitely look for a referral to a nutritionist as a first step. Apart from anything else, they can look at his daily intake and see what he may be lacking in terms of nutrients, vitamins etc. Then you have an idea of what you're dealing with, and could supplement his diet with vitamins etc if needs be, while the bigger eating issue is addressed. One thing I would suggest is that you stop weighing him - if that's possible, I realise you msy be doing so under the instruction of your doc etc to chart his weight pattern. Young children can lose or gain weight quite quickly, especially as noted above, when just starting school or nursery as they are "on the go" so much more, and burning so much energy. Is your son bright, alert, energetic, and generally well? If so, then it may be that your son is getting enough nutrition from what little he is eating. If he is oftern tired, listless, lacking energy and unwell, that's probably more indication of a problem than his weight in pounds and ounces. Good luck with this problem, it must be very difficult to deal with, especially as you seem to have tried all the usual advice and tips.

[TraciJ2]

I would reccommend the above info too. I have worked with children for 16 years and have seen this quite often - sadly as a NN, there was not much we could do about it as we would have to make sure he ate - so we would have given him whatever he liked to get something down him ..... not helpful i know.

My nephew is the same - he doesn't eat what he doesn't like. Sweets, crisps and dunkers are his favourite and my Sister-in-law will have one ready for when he comes out of school so that she knows he's eaten something. i tend to be a bit crueler (if thats a word) and make him wait until he gets home to give him a early dinner which he will eat some of.

DO stick to your guns and call in the help of the professionals. What does the school say about it? Maybe request that they give you a list of the foods that are on offer daily and ask a Teacher to keep a diary of what he does (if any) eat. That you can then take to the HV and GP

good luck and my fingers are crossed for you

Traci xx

[tigerthecat]

What do the medics say ?

[Gingerchick]

I also agree with all of the above, but don't rely too much on centiles. These can, sometimes, be very misguiding if for instance your son was born prematurely or most of his immediate family tend to be on the small, lean side. The important thing is to look at the trend of his weight/height on the chart and if it is making a nice ark then you should not worry too much. The problem comes when there is a sudden drop/peak and that is when you need to investigate. The fact that his weight and height are on the same centile would suggest to me that he is developing well and is just small for his age.

I agree that you should try and stop weighing him (once every 1or 2 months should be enough) as he will pick up on the fact that you are worried and this will set up anxieties in him. The same goes for eating. I realise that you are obviously very worried, but try not to show it to you son. As you say he is eating enough to survive so there is realy no need to worry as long as he is healthy, active and alert.

You say you often end up feeding your son and mealtimes can up to an hour. This is too long for anyone to sit at the table (unless it is accompanied by candle light, a good bottle of wine and the love of your life!) Try limiting meal times to 30 minutes and allow him to leave whatever he doesn't eat in that time. Don't feed him - he's a big boy now - and this will give him some independence and control over what and how much he eats. Give him lots of praise, even if he eats one spoonful. Make mealtimes a positive experience for him.

You could also see if he will have a glass of milk and a couple of biscuits as part of his bed time routine.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[lynneuk74]

I believe that my Mum took me to the doctors when I was that age as I wouldn't eat - I have seen pictures with my ribs protruding slightly too!!

I don't remember it but I know she was told that I'd eat what I needed and when I was hungry.

Nearly 30 years later I am facing the other extreme and trying to cut down on the food to fit into my clothes better!!

Just wanted to say that he'll be fine. I would go by his manner - as said earlier - and whether or not he seems to have enough energy. He will improve.

[parkers]

Hi, My partner and I are too at out wits end... Nothing and I mean nothing seems to work and it is getting worse. The only hot food my partners daughter would eat was Fishfingers and smiley faces, but now she won't even eat them. Over an hour Tuesday night for 1 fish finger and 1 smiley face, she was heaving, sobbing and crying, the tears work far better on her Dad than they do me, but we are absolutely sick if it. The doctor has said to us that she isn't underweight so not to worry ! But it simply isn't healthy.. She will only eat 2 types of cereal, chocolate spread sandwiches, Jam sandwiches, as much chocolate and crisps as you give her and no bits yoghurt - that is it. And like yours she will actually make herself sick over it. I personally think that most of it is put on, in fact literally all of it. All for effect, but why we do not know, and how to change it we still don't know.. Get SuperNanny in, see what she can do.. Sorry for not helping but at least you know it isn't just you..x