Calling all fellow feminine lesbians

[shazbang]

Have any of you ever been discriminated against by other lesbians for looking too feminine? The reason I ask is because that is exactly what happened to me and my partner on Saturday night. The female bouncer at our local gay club dislikes feminine lesbians and refused us entry. I have wrote a letter of complaint to the owners of the club and am waiting on a reply. I was just wondering if any of you had similar experiences.

[andy-hughes]

Obviously I'm not in a similar position shazbang, but I would like to register my disgust at the predjudice to which you have been subjected.

To object to someone on the basis of their personal style is as repellent as objecting to theim for ther sexuality, colour, race or religion.

You would think that as a gay woman, this door person would have sufficient experience of the hostility of society to avoid foisting that kind of ignorance on complete strangers, apart from which, barring people on such a sad and twisted whim is unprofessional, and i hope she is dismissed for her actions.

OK, rant over - sorry to hijack your thread!

[bex401]

Why is she working there then & who made her God??Thats like working in a chippy & disliking mash?!?!

Hope you get some result from the management,shazbang,she needs a talking to!!

[shazbang]

Thanks andy! I knew i could count on you. I hope she is dimissed also but apparently its not the first time she's done it, maybe other people just didn't complain.

We face enough prejudice in this world without getting it from people who you would think, being in a similar position, would know better. She must be a bitter lonely woman.

[Drusilla1S]

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has experienced this, shazbang, though I accept that's no consolation to you.
I only came out in 2004 when my marriage ended and since then I can honestly say I've experienced more discrimination from 'right on' lesbians than any other group of people.
As a result, I don't go to lesbian clubs anymore and have found partners through lesbian Internet sites in the past, though I'm single at present.
I don't really understand their problem as I thought being myself was more important than fitting an approved profile.
I find it strange that girls who are only too ready to condemn discrimination from non lesbians can be so quick to disapprove of a particular look.

[shazbang]

Thought I'd see you here Drusilla! thanks for the support and I hope you find someone special soon.

I'd to like ask if there are any 'dykes' out there who could explain this pattern of disliking feminine lesbians.

[Mowbray]

Hello Shazbang,

I am disgusted at the fact that this has happened. This is discrimination in itself and should not happen.

I am too a feminine lesbian but I have not experienced anything like this.

I am sure the owners of this club will disapprove of her actions and will repremand her appropriately.

Which bar was it? is it in Newcastle?

K :-)

[sickofmorons]

Well can I just say it's disgusting that feminine lesbians are being discriminated against. It's about time we blokes had something nice to imagine rather than the average Buster Bloodvessel lookalikes. And before everyone starts about my name being ironic- it was a joke. Still though any pictures?

[joko]

thats terrible!

i thought a lesbian was a woman who fancies other women - plain and simple.

not, a woman, who looks like a man, who fancies another woman, who looks like a man

i figure if you don't fancy men, whats the point of fancying women who look like men?

surely the point of fancying women is because they are ...well...women...why expect them to behave and look like men?

theres kind of a 'discrepancy' there don't you think?

[DMA]

Im a caveman bloke and I get probs off "metrosexual" men.

They have a great deal of unwarranted contempt for me. Ive had probs with several people Ive worked with.

i cud not give a shiat if people are gay as long as they dont cause me any probs. BUT I do get probs off blokes who are a tad effeminate even though they have girlfriends or wives.

it looks like the same basic principle as the prob you are havin.

Effeminate blokes have contempt 4 me coz Im different to them and butch female bouncers (and there was no pun intended, honest!) have contempt for you coz you are different to them.

Women tend "naturally" to be feminine and blokes masculine and obviously those who do not fit the "natural" persona are jealous & show contempt for those who do fit the natural persona.

[andy-hughes]

Well DMA, I think you summed yourself up pretty well in the first four words of your first sentence!

You are completely missing the point here - it's not about who fancies whom, it's about unjustifiable predjudice from someone who ought to know better.

Your final sentence shows that you understand nothing of the finer points of human relationships - no onder you have problems with people you work with, your fundamental hostility to anyone who differs from your appointed sterotypes must radiate from you like a severe case of body odour!

People are individuals, there is no rule about conforming to a socail or indeed sexual stereotype, and discrimination on that basis is not only ignorant and abusive, it's also illegal.

I suggest you read the original post again, and then look up the word tolerant in a dictionary, and think about it for a while. A long while.

[DMA]

My whole point was about people having prejudice against other people coz they are a little different to themselves whether they are black, white, gay, straight, muslim, ugly, fat or whatever.

I was not being flippant in any way.

I have had people showing me contempt without due reason coz they have opposite personalities to me. the manager at my last place did his best to get me the sack coz he had opposite personality to me. If I had been sacked due to his scheming i wud have sued coz my personality does not come into my work.

The bouncer in question is clearly not a femine lesbian unlike shazbang. The bouncer in question shud not be able to turn away feminine lesbians just like a certain niteclub in the paper last year were in the news for turning away women they deemed not good looking enough.

I wish i hadnt bothered - unfortunatley no-one was posting on the sport section when I made my original posting.

[shazbang]

I'd just like to thank everyone for their posts, even you DMA! its great to have so much support on the AB. 3 stars for everyone.

The manager of the club emailed this morning to say they would make a full investigation and revert back to me and apologised for any inconvenience in the meantime. I'll let you all know the outcome.

Thanks again everyone :-)

[Jennykins]

I thought being a girl is feminine????? If it was a manly person lesbians wanted then be with a man!!!... no matter how tuff or chubby or what ever the case.. being a girl is feminine and we should all be very proud of that... its what seperates us from the dawgs!!! haha

You go girl!!!!

[Sfthrtdbutch]

Well, this answer is a long time comeing since the question is over a year, well, actually, WELL over a year. I'm a butch, I don't understand why any lesbian would have a problem with a more feminine lesbian. I wish there were more! The more feminine the better if you ask me. I can't date a butch, that would be weird to me, don't ask why, I'm just totally not attracted to other butches. My bad to all those who think that all lesbians should act and look the same, but I would say to those who believe that, to get real. Individuality is what makes us who we are and nobody should have to conform to what others think the way you should act or look like, the majority of society looks at the gay and lesbian community as unconformed to the way they are, so why be hypocritical? Anyway, no lesbian should be discriminated for being to beautiful, that's ********, sorry, I think more beautiful,feminine women, should be lesbians. I just appreciate beauty.