37...female ...ever so slightly tipsy and confused...advice please

[ermintrude35]

...ok, just come back from a top night out with a couple of my work mates,now being a very social person that I am I met a new girl tonight, in the ladies loo, like ya do..., she is single mum like me, she seemed genuine, confident, but said she was new to the area and finding it hard to make new mates, so I invited her to come join our group of friends, ...now ... one of my mates (male) ,infact, he is probably my best mate, was there tonight, later she asked me if he was my partner,I laughed and said "no, he is my best mate and I am very close to his wife who is pregnant " (and was not out with us).... she said she had been watching us interact as a group, and as an "outsider "she could see that one of our friends fancied him like mad but it was obvious to her that he did not fancy her, she also said that he "has lust in his eyes for me".... after she told me, it has got me thinking... , when I was on the dance floor he couldnt keep his eyes off me, ..., he is quite touchy feely with me , but I just presumed he was like this with everybody... it's just the way we are with eachother,he is the male version of me, but this girl has put doubts in my mind, I value his friendship , and that of his wife very much, and I would be mortified if he did have other feelings towards me other than friendship... so I guess my question is can males and females be friends without there being any sexual feelings towards eachother?..am I being p!ssed and paranoid and allowing this girl who knows nothing about us jump to conclusions?....

[hammerman]

It's a real tricky one to call. I've been in situations where i've been damn good friends with a girl for many years only to wake up one morning and find your feelings have "moved on" to a different level. I can honestly say that there's not many ladies i know as friends who i haven't thought about wanting to go to bed with.

I also think that it's more of a man thing too....we're programmed genetically to be the sex that does the courting and want to spread our genes far and wide. Girls value friendship a lot more generally speaking.

Don't forget that there was probably a lot of alcohol flowing too and inhibitions are lost very quickly.

[undercovers]

i doubt that men and women can be close friends without there being a sexual spark between them at some point, its sort of inevitable. Though i would doubt a strangers assessment of my friendships i would pay attention to the things you actually know, and you clearly agree with this random stranger otherwise you wouldn't have noticed all those signals or thought about it.

good luck

[Lonnie]

Its always a hard one to answer, but my belief, depending on the ages concerned, is that its quite feasable for a woman to be 'just friends' with a man, but virtually impossible the other way round, which is where a lot of misunderstandings happen.

[ermintrude35]

...yey virtually no hangover thanks to copious pints of water and a nice lie-in this morninig...

...thankyou guys, sound and informative advice, he phoned me this morning to ask how my head was, deep down I guess there probably is a "spark" there, but I'm quite happy for it to remain just that, I'm a born flirt, I will just have to tone it down with him in future, dont want to loose him as a mate....