Politics2 mins ago
Cheating on a partner
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No best answer has yet been selected by cymruambyth1. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Hi walesforever, I think you need a serious think about your future with the present boyfriend,how many other boyfriends have you had?, It could be that you are just staying together because it's comfortable,and to much hassle to move on,you were very young when you got together,you also say you really love him,do you? I don't think the fact you were drunk is a reason or an excuse,you have a lot of serious thinking to do,but don't just stay with him because it is hard to break up,If you are in one of the small villages or towns in Wales,he will find out anyway won't he!
Pob luc cariad, Ray xx
Is this a one night stand or did you build up to the situation with the other person? If it's the former then..... well and if the latter it would be pre meditated. Either way, it's goodnight I'm afraid.
I have to agree with the other remarks. You don't cheat on someone you are in love with.
There are people in 'open' relationships who are quite happy to have sex with other people, but even then the relationship is based on a joint understanding and not secretive trysts behind a partner's back.
Maybe it's time to reassess your relationship in an honest and thoughtful manner. Don't be frightened to move on if necessary and don't let guilt influence your decision. At 21, you should be looking for a fulfilling sex life and not settling for an affectionate comfort zone in which sex is of secondary importance.
cheers guys for all the advice! It has really helped!
I know some of you may think I am a bitch for doing this, in a way i dont feel guilty cos it was just sex with this guy, everything else with my boyfriend is great, just not the sex, and i had to go and find it somewhere, might sound weird but i would forgive him if he had a one night stand, cos it is just sex. It isnt making love.
Looks like I have a lot to think about!
u know what cymru..... its all part of life's experiences. dont dwell on it too much. i dont mean to sound horible saying this (and i dont mean this is a nasty way) but get over it and move on....and learn from it. learn how it made u feel. things happen, and its no excuse but everything happens for a reason.
I was in exactly the same position as you, albeit I'm a bloke. My girlfriend, who I'd owned two houses with whom I was fairly settled, was just not a sexual person, finding it difficult to even talk about sex, whereas I'd had no complaints in that department from previous partners.
It dwelled on my mind for some time (years) until eventually I found myself in the position you are in - it was made clear to me that I was desired by another woman, and I strayed. It was, I have to say, wonderful, but followed by the immense feelings of guilt you are probably feeling now - I am a person who holds a lot of stead in the concept of fidelity and I felt horrible for cheating, but at the same time I felt I was being "cheated" out of something by my then partner.
continued....
To cut a very long story short, this tale repeated itself over 5 years, with me sleeping with various people I met along the way. Eventually I met someone who I totally fell for, who said there was nothing happening whilst I had a girlfriend........cue one large decision which has led to me losing a partner, gaining a new one, losing a fortune on property, and a lot of freinds when the inevitable division of mates comes along.
And do you know what? Aftter all that, my only feeling is that I now realise, after a whole drawn out process over many years, I should have woken up and smelled the coffee the first time it happened. Like me, you probably know something isn't right in your relationship, otherwise you wouldn't have done it. When I asked myself "How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot?", I knew there was only one answer.
For the record, I'm now 2 yrs into a reationship with the woman who gave me the ultimatum, I've never looked elsewhere during that time and don't think I ever will do. I had a terrible time thinking I was a really bad person but what it came down to was that I liked sex, with a willing partner, and don't think its a crime to want that.
Don't tie yourself up in knots hoping that things will get better with your current boyf is my advice, from experience. I also loved my girlfriend, in the respect that she was a thoroughly decent person who I find it hard to speak ill of, but the spark was long gone and something had to be done.
Hope it all works out - it doesn't give you a great feleing does it, hence your question?
Thanks Roger! It was answers like that that i wanted. someone who had actually been in the situation and wasnt just being judgmental.
I think i know what i need to do, it is just doing it! The spark has indeed gone, and now i have had sex with someone else i feel i dont need to do it again, My current partner was the first person i slept with, and i guess i just wanted to see what it was like with someone else! Again its just thinking about what the next step should be! Your answer really helped Roger! Thanks