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Pestering exs!!

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Goodsoulette | 16:38 Tue 17th Oct 2006 | Relationships & Dating
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How do you deal with an ex who wont realise you dont want them back? 2 kids involved too.
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shotgun??? :)

seriously, what are they doing? is it just remeniscing or are they harassing?
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begging!! I dont want him back but i have to see him cause of the kids. Hes doing my nut in. He was quiet for a few weeks but is claiming his love for me all over again. Seriously I think Im gonna have to move town lol
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He says I am running away and wont talk to him about it but what is really going onj is I keep saying no I dont love you but I am apparently being childish.
difficult situation with there being children involved.
Perhaps you could suggest he sees a counsellor? or as an extreme threaten him with an injunction to prevent him seeing you. Obviously your children are the priority so i can understand your predicament.
Be firm and only speak to him when you need to pick the kids up. Dont enter into any other conversation with him. If he tries to drag you into discussion just put the phone down. If he starts when the kids are there just calmly say "I dont wish to discuss this" and walk away, get in the car and drive off. He'll get it eventually, unfortunately thats when he'll probably get angry and throw teddy out of the pram.
Best of luck x
How about writing him a letter? Tell him that you will always feel a bond with him as the father of your children but that you have no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever anymore,and never will,but would like to stay civil for the sake of your children.
Hi Goods,

It will take time for it to sink in, breaking up is a lot easier for the one that wants to do the breaking up, it happened to me and mrs sparx before we were married, she wanted to split up I didn't, I can honestly say it was the worst time of my life,like a bereavement,but the person that has gone is still alive, It took a while for me to accept it, luckily we got back together after a year, I know it will be annoying for you,but he must be hurting, give it a little time, be patient, wish you luck, Ray xx
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you do something completely unexpected and different. on the surface, you don't "resist" or make a "big deal". that hypes up the challenge and the challenge is already a pedestal to him. you have to think everything he does is a tactic. even the few weeks of silence is a tactic. ("a little time heals everything", doesn't it? then he starts getting impatient.)

he'll only feel true self validation when he reaches the "top" (which is you professing your love back to him), then suddenly the "rush" of winning you back is gone and he reverts to his old ways. you need to contemplate the other side of the equation and go a different route. as much as you dread seeing him with the kids, if you act as though your meetings are any old meetings with someone you encounter in the street that maybe you don't know very well, you're not on edge, you're not tensed up - in that he has no major significance to you anymore, he is treated no differently from anybody else - he will start to get the hint because you have ended the challenge. there's nothing to win if there's no challenge presented. he may think by your change in demeanor that you have found someone else and you are too happy with them to be bothered with his drama.

from someone who has been there, that's just my opinion.

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