I left him....then went back!!

[paulakea]

Well, if you see my previous posts re my bad tempered partner...i left him on thursday night!
Got my stuff together and went to my mums!
But then i saw him for a bit on friday and saturday and he was crushed, said he was sorry, he loves me and will try and control his anger.
I was sure i was leaving for good, mum offered me a place to stay rent free and she would buy me a car to help me get back on my feet...
But after seeing my partner i went back to him on Saturday night.
I dont know if ive done the right thing, i want him to change but will he...for me?
I cant cope leaving him and hurting him so much, i cant cope moving on, its so hard :-(

[redcrx]

well at least you know next time you walk out that your mum may help you. I feel sorry for her actually if she has heard the stories of his anger and has to watch you go back to him for more of the same treatment
I hope he does change his ways, but from your posts previously i doubt it very much indeed.
My previous advice to leave him and certainly not to consider having children with him still stands.

[caz247]

i agree with redcrx re your mum who obviously
knows more of the situation than we do. I have
been on the receiving end of a violent partner
and they don't change well not long term anyway.
why put yourself through the emotional wringer when
deep down you know in your heart he is not right
for you and certainly not good enough for you either.

caz x

please take this as advice and not as if i'm preaching

[888sally888]

I think you know in your heart of hearts that you should go to yor mums and move on.

[paulakea]

I feel for him, hes a nice guy when hes nice and i do love that part of him.
I hate seeing him sad and lonely :-(

[raysparx1]

paulakea,

why on earth have you gone back to him ? you say you can't cope with hurting him, did I read that correctly ? so it's ok for him to hurt you then is it ? it might be hard to be on your own for a while,but that is far better than being in an abusive relationship,he won't change,why should he, if he just says how hurt he is and you go running back,please think very seriously before commiting to him again,you are worth more than a load of abuse,take care paula, Ray xxx

[redcrx]

you hate seeing him sad and lonely? what about you? Think of the people who have to see you after hes been agressive towards you? Think how they feel.
He has only got himself to blame for the way he is feeling. You must try and be stronger, get away to your mums but dont be in such a rush to go and see him like you did Friday and Saturday.
If he is ever going to change then the fact that he knows you run back whether he changes or not is no incentive to him is it.

[snagged]

hear hear redcrx...

[paulakea]

I know you are right but part of me hopes he will change!
Its been 2 nights and so far so good but i dont hold out much hope despite loving him. If i didnt love him i could go so easy!

[chicklin]

Men do 'sad and lonely' really well when they want something. They always say sorry and they always say it won't happen again. Well it should never have happened in the first place. No one has any right to intimidate you in any way. In your position (and I have been) I wouldn't have gone back. As others on here have said, he won't change. The nice person he's being at the moment is him doing whatever and saying whatever it takes to get you back where he wants you. Then things will go back to how they were when you decided to leave last time. Do yourself a big favour, go to your mums, leave him to find some other mug. Then you can find someone who deserves your love. A man who will treat you like you are the most special person in the whole world, and who would never want to do anything to hurt or upset you. You deserve respect and you won't get it from this man by the sound of it.

[spk]

Been there done that, trust me , you need to leave him. A leopard never changes his spots. Stop being a doormat and live your life for yourself. Please x