Still hurting

[Eurox]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years, in september, because she went to uni. I was okay at first because I had mates there, but then after a few weeks I saw her on a night out and all my feelings came rushing back and i ended up crying in the middle of wetherspoons, and I told her the next day just how much I missed her but she was having none of it saying she wanted to go and not have anyone to worry about. So eventually she went to uni, but then so did my mates, and I had nobody. I was sat at all the time with all these thoughts going through my head. After a few weeks i suppose the pain went away, but recently all my feelings have come back again and i miss everything about her so badly and I dont know why. I cant help but think about what shes doing, whether shes met a new person or whether shes got someone new every weekend, and its killing me. I havnt spoke to her at all since she went away in spetember, and to be honest I dont want to incase she does say shes found someone new because id just die. Just thinking about her having one kiss with anyone else stabs my heart in a thousand places... but I cant do anything about it. It seems so easy for her. Sorry to be so longwinded but has anyone else been in this situation and eventaully got through? How long did it take.

[marley2000]

ive had the exact same experience at least twice. It's horrible. its that pain that feels like a kick in the stomach and when the pain is so intense you cant imagine that it will ever go away. people say it goes with time and its so hard to believe. but it does eurox. i promise it will. when you see them afterwards (this can go on for months) you feel sick and all the feelings of love and hurt come flooding back but it wont last forever. my heart has been broken and when its been mended it seems to be broken again but it always heals. you have to remember (and try) to keep the trust and the hope. it won't be long till you feel normal again. let us know how you get on and just focus on the positives in your lifexxx

[Amiira]

Think most of us here have been in a similar situation. Getting over a relationship. Its not easy is it.

You said you felt OK at first because you still had your mates. Now your mates have gone to uni too. So maybe you are feeling extra lonely because of that.

But no doubt you miss your ex. But she has said she wants to go out and have no one to worry about (you) I would guess. So pick yourself up. By her saying that, should make you a stronger person. As you now know its really a one-sided love.

I know when people say, get yourself out, and enjoy yourself, its not that easy. But its really what you should do. Give yourself time to get over this. It will take time. But hopefully in a few weeks time (maybe months) you will feel a lot better.

Look forward to 2007 as a new start.

I wish you luck x

[myishealuvs?]

I've delt with the same situation actually im dealing with it now. I moved away from my boyfriend like 3 months ago but we did it differently than you. We stayed together to see if we could handle the long distance relationship. It was hard at first but i got through it and started to talk to people about how i felt and got their advice. Its been 5 months now and me mom dont want me to talk to him so we borke up. Im feeling the same thing you are wondering it hes with another girl. and do he still think about me and wish we were still together. You never kno until you ask.

So you talk to her tell her how you feel and just let it all out. dont keep any thing in. she might not feel the same way but then she probably does. Just whatever you do stay strong you can get through this.

[Daisy13]

Honey, I've been there a couple of times myself and it's the most awful feeling in the world but I promise you it will get better over time. i know you probably don't believe that now but, trust me, it will.

I think it probably all seems so much worse because your mates are away to uni and you've lost some of your support. Usually I go out with my pals if i've had a bad break up, get horrendously drunk and snog some random if i've had a really bad break up, but you're not only adjusting to life without your girlfriend but your mates too.

I always find keeping myself busy helps - do you have any other mates from school or work that you could kick about with, maybe organise a works night out or maybe take up a hobby or a sport? I know it's not always that easy to do but you'll find that getting out there and meeting new people will help you stop thinking about it so much and help you to move on. You have to be proactive and I know it can be hard sometimes to pick yourself up when you're feeling down and lonely but you'll be amazed how much better you'll feel.

Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel? Your mum or dad, family member or friend. Sometimes a great big hug from someone close reminds you that you're not on your own and sometimes saying it all out loud helps you get it all into perspective.

Let me know how you get on or if you want to chat about it some more xx

[acorn]

Been there recently too. It hurts like hell and you listen to what people tell you when they offer the advice but it doesnt seem to matter as the pain is still very much there.
I found that i didnt get closure with my ex boyfriend who i fell for completely. He ended up cheating on me and i found out but when i tried to confront him he refused to speak to me and i became so upset that i left it. Now he is happy with this other woman and i am alone. If he knocked on my door im sure i would have him back but its not going to happen. And it looks like it wont for you. Do you really want to live in the past and miss any other opportunity that may come along? I read a great piece of advice which said that if you were eating three meals a day would you really want them all from the same grease laden plate? Basically you have to move on from the past before you can look to the future. I dont offer any actual advice as im afraid its a waiting game you have entered - i do hope however that you come out the other side soon and find new friends