Sex with a much older boy

[888sally888]

My daughter who is 14 has a friend the same age. They have been friends since they were 3 and she is a lovely girl. The friend met a boy/man on the internet and got to know him through this as he lives miles away. Anyway they met and told her mother that he was 16 and the mother left them for the evening alone. In a nutshell she had consenting full sex with him and he IS ACTUALLY 19. The girl knew this. My dillema is - do I say nothing, do I anonomusly tell the school or her parents. She doesnt regret what she did (so far) but I am am shocked and very upset as I have always been close to her. Please help!

[devilwoman]

i'm gobsmacked that the mother left them in the house all night, in fact she was giving her approval to them to have sex, what else would they do , play snakes and ladders? whats the point of talking to the mother? its obvuous she's totally irresponsible, so do nothing.

[teag1rl]

The mother doesn't sound the cleverest but who are you to go telling tales on the girl? If I got pulled aside by a teacher for a chat about what happened I'd be blo00dy livid with you for telling them. I'm a grown up now but sex at 14 isnt the end of the world-it was considered quite normal when I was that age. My only concern in this situation is that she met a guy on net and invited him to her house-that was a really stupid move, so if you want to help this girl-have a chat with her about that! Sex with strangers isnt very clever either but 14 yr old girls dont like being told what to do so you can only try. Good luck

[andy-hughes]

I'd keep out of it.

As advised, the notion of leaving a teenage girl alone with a man neither she or her mother know is not clever, but itr is their business, rather than yours.

You can use it s a lead-in to a conversation with your daughter about responsible behaviour in general, and responsible sex in particular, but steer clear of the "You don't want to do like .... did do you ..." line of conversation. Dissing your daughter's friends is not the way to show you are on her side, and she may well tell her friend what you said, and that way likes complcations.

Nice and simple is the rule with teenagers - guidance not lecturing, rules for health and safety, not because you are a killjoy. Take that approach, it works better - i know.

[888sally888]

Thanks all - I am lucky that I have a very open and honest realtionship with both my teenage daughters.

It still worries me but the way the news of what she did is flying round the school, the parents will no doubt find out soon.

[tradey]

hi all,well my mate has a daughter whos nearly 16 still at school,shes been going out with a lad of 21,i myself find the age thing abit of a bother but my mate doesnt,she thinks the lad is lovely,which myself thinks so too,is it just me or do you thing shes too young for him cheers

[tradey]

sorry i was surposed to put this in parenting and put it in here instead