The Girl who will never grow up!

[Goodsoulette]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6229 799.stm I have a 16 yr old cousin who had encephalitis as a baby. She has been left blind, unable to talk, almost deaf, has cerebal palsy, a form of autism and was told she would never walk but at 10 she did. She also suffers with periods of fitting causing more brain damage which has left a shadow on the part of the frontal lobe which can make her violent. I know that her SINGLE mother would never had any of these things done to her to make her easier to care for, I mean a hyterectomy for crying out loud. We all love her dearly and there will always be someone in our family that will care for her but I would like to add that we all feel that too much can be done to save a child and that whilst we were all rooting for her when she was ill it would have probably been better had medicine not been able to intervene. Does anyone else find this horrendous?

[beryllium]

utterly despicable.
I don't see how they've used the 'protection against sexual assault' as a case. Where were they planning to leave her for such a fear of?

[havinmysay]

i cant say i find this horrendous but i think this sort of treatment is unnecessary its hard to put myself in this situation but im sure the parents are just doing what they think is best.

[##Wardy##]

Just seen the arguments for and the arguments against. To be honest, I think it was a brave and right decision.

The main argument against seems to be the rights of the little girl. Well, if she is not capable of forming the understanding of the rights, then such power must fall to her next of kin, which they have. Therefore, hers rights have been adhered to not breached, if that makes sense.

From what I understand, both hers and her parents lives will be better off.

In a nutshell, how has the life of the little girl be ill fated if she has the brain of a 3 month old?

[beryllium]

because she has the right to grow as is ##Wardy##.
I was a care worker for a charity in this country doing palliative care work for many sick children. Some worse than this little girl and the parents? they just got on with it.
Lifting without stairlifts or ceiling lifts. If I asked them if they had the choice to do that to their daughters? it would have been no. This girl had no choice and no one to argue the case to protect her rights. Why? because she's nothing....
a costly being better off dead. It does seem it was a convenience to keep the child a lighter weight for them. She wouldn't have grown to be a fully grown woman anyway from the cases I looked after they don't develope to full size.

[noxlumos]

Personally it's probably not a choice my wife or I would have made but I don't think the very negative press that her parents have got is necesarily fair. Different people weigh up and level out things in their minds differently and as I do not know the people personally I'm not prepared to be judge and jury over them when they have been faced with very hard decisions that no parent should have to make.I am sure they have done what THEY consider to be right after much heart searching. Had they not cared they'd have bunged her into a residential home and pretended he didn't exist. They obviously care a great deal, just because they didn't do what I would have does't make me right and them wrong, it's just a heartbreaking situation.

[Goodsoulette]

The only reason I feel qualified to judge is that I have first hand experience of looking after a girl in this situation. Preventing someone from growing any taller seems wrong, preventing breasts from growing, again seems wrong, and a removing a uterus without need, again is not right. It has all been about convenience. Beryllium is right, these children are normally small adults anyway. It is a heart breaking decision Nox and to be honest its not the parents that I feel have made the duff decision, they were offered something to make the caring possibly easier....I dont think they should have been offered this opportunity at all.

[Lonnie]

Some years ago, lost touch now, but we knew a mother who carried her six year old daughter everywhere, she was deaf, dumb, blind, and had water on the brain, the doctors said she had no thought at all, but we have to look at these things from the mothers point of view, if you can.

I've said a piece in this thread.

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion344337.html

[netibiza]

I think it is the parents right to decide this. Hopefully we won't ever be in this situation so will will never have this choice. It does sound horrendous but I hope it will turn out for the best for ALL concerned.

[Hammer Head]

Perhaps the kindest thing to do would be to put her out of her misery. With the brain of a three month old, she will never be anything more than a cabbage. If it was my child I would have done it long ago.

[netibiza]

There I agree totally withHammer Head

[Goodsoulette]

A three month old baby is nothing like a cabbage

[Hammer Head]

It is when it is nine years old.

[Goodsoulette]

You say that but as a parent your gut instinct for your child is survival.

[shopper]

unless you are in the situation of having to care for a disabled child then no one has the right to judge what is right or wrong.

[netibiza]

Well said shopper