Am I being unreasonable 1?

[johnlambert]

10 RULES FOR DATING A SOLDIER'S DAUGHTER

Rule 1.
If you drive to my house and sound your horn you had better be delivering pizza or something, because you are not picking anything up.
Rule 2.
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter, I will remove them painfully
Rule3.
I know that nowadays, boys your age think it is fashionable to wear your trousers so loosely they appear to be falling off your hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and your friends are morons, still I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your trousers 10 times too big for you, however, I will take s hammer and some 6 inch nails and fasten them to your waist.
Rule 4
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you
Rule 5
In order for us to get to know each other some people believe we should talk about sports, politics and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter back safely in my house, and the only word that I need from you upon this subject is "early"

[whiffey]

Blimey ! Are you having a bad day ? I am with you all the way on lazy bu$$ers who stop outside and toot their horn. GET OUT OF THE CAR AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR !! It can be very disturbing if you are wandering gently along on a bike and some git pulls up right behind you and parps.

[ummmm]

Just a tad unreasonable John....lol

[johnlambert]

Having a great day thanks whiffster
I enjoy terrorising the local louts around here, you should see the colour drain from their faces when I show them my "dont fcuk with me face"

[whiffey]

What's your favourite line John ? I continually get "Have you got 20p for the phone mister" or "You wanna sell that bike mister" (NO) or "Oi mate yer wheel's going round"

[notfrom-oz]

john you sound GREAT! im going to print your rules make a poster and put in my daughters room!! although she's only 2!! best to teach her young what to look for in a gent!!

[johnlambert]

can you buy us some fags mate? we've got the money

[Willow Tree]

These rules sounds familiar... Like 8 Simple Rules, do you?

[Tha-Flash]

I was thinkin 8 simple rules aswell :)

[fat rascal]

excellent... worth printing off and laminating.

[Noz Namod]

I take it your daughter has discovered boys?