parent child relationships

[legend758duo]

reading todays newspapers it appears that kids in the uk are underpriveleged as far as they seem to be something people have,but lose interest in as they grow older.
if the statistics are to be believed by the year 2020 the majority of children will be living with single parent or with step parents..
do you think that people say their main concern is for their children when really they selfishly only care about themselves?
how many marraiges split,because it wouldnt be fair on the children,only for said children to be let roam the streets in a hoody with a bottle of alcopops ,while mummy ,or occassionally daddy ,is at home or out drinking not giving a sh!t about what their kids are up to?
can we really blame todays teenagers?
unwanted,in the way,a nuisance to stop you from enjoying yourself.
its now got to the stage that child abuse,physical not sexual as thats another subject,is on the increase too.
as someone once said you need a licence for a tv,a licence to drive,you even had them for dogs,but any @rsehole can have kids get money from the state,and then let them roam free like packs of wild dogs terrorising people,because their parents havent set them any boundries and dont have any control over them.
ehm rant over.
any opinions folks?

[cliffsweb]

i've heard many people say that what these kids need is a good hiding, well believe me thats the last thing they need,
i lived on a council estate for many years and witnessed first hand what these kids/yobs went through.
many of the kids some as young as 4-5 recieved beating from the parents, mainly for getting caught wrong doing, or cos of police turning up ect. this particular kid for instance was five, he had three siblings, single mother, at ten o clock at night she wuld sit across the road with friends drinking, the five year old came to her one night and her words to him were. GET BACK TO BED YOU LITTLE B*****D. he was unloved, uncared for,scruffy and dirty. he had probably never recived cuddles kiss's never mind bedtime stories, and never a day went by without him getting a good smack, but without explanationwhy.

so what it boils down to these kids need love, they dont know what its like to be loved and cherished, thats why they turn into hoodlums. and no one seems to know what to do about it.

[legend758duo]

my point exactly.
i think parents today are too selfish by far.
they dont care what their kids are doing.
at 12 years old its like "ive raised em and fed the little sh!ts for 12 years i need my space"
hence the home alone situations we read about more and more each day

[Lonnie]

Lets let the cat out of the bag here.

I think the report is very accurate.
Causes.
In the optimum family, two parents, mother and father, the womens place is in the home, until the child is at the very least, five years of age.

Marriage, This needs to be worked at, not enough couples do that nowadays, first sign of a disagreement, and thet are off, to the detriment of the family

Discipline in the home and school.
Not enough, the parents no longer back the teachers, sad, and the parents too often give in to their child, for the sake of peace.

Respect.
There isn't any, in the old days, upto the time pc started creeping in, children called adults Sir, Mr, Miss, Mrs, close adult friends were Uncle and Aunty, not by their first name. By calling an adult by their first name, is putting them on par with them, which blatently, is not the case,

But the main problem is the Goverment, nurturing a Nanny state, and an I want it, its my human right, so why shouldn't I.

If the child gets into trouble, make the parents pay, then let the parents punish the child.
If the child is good, reward it with love, not gifts.

Thats only part of the way I feel about the whole thing.

[noxlumos]

I 100% agree with cliffsweb, a child that sees and experiences violence and neglect grows up angry, hurt and aggressive ( this from personal experience).
I never so much as raise my voice to my kids and have engaged them at every opportuity since they were born, encouraging them in their good deeds and explaining why their worse ones weren't the way to go. Touch wood my kids have developed into the resepctful people I hoped they would, but only because they weren't belted within an inch of their lives every day. Stick the same kids with parents who don't engage them and you'll have a thug on your hands in no time, hence why do we not teach family values and child rearing in schools from age 11, instead of the onus being on how "well" you can do, your future earning potential and the stuff you'll be able to buy. That just alienates the slower kids and you end up with teenagers with no educational ability, no parenting skills, having kids so they have an income from the state to get the "stuff" they have been indoctrinated to think they need to have a fulfilling life. As our society has changed away from unskilled manual work that anyone can do and still have self respect ( and everyone else's) we have created a vortex for the educationally slow, and they get sucked in, are branded unsuccesful and spat out the other side claiming benefits. they then have kids that no-one has taught them to raise either. We've created this phenomena, and we can stop it, but we need a drastic society wide rethink on how to educate our children and what goals are seen as worth persuing.

[kaylamay]

I have a daughter who is 22 and a son who is 21. I used to drive then to and from school ALWAYS, until my daughter got her drivers license at 16(States) at which time she then drove herself and her brother to school. I always knew where my kids were and with whom. I was a single parent and the thought of my kids being out and about without my knowledge scared the life out of me. They are both model citizens in my view and have NEVER been in trouble with the law and my son especially is strictly against alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. My daughter drinks occasionally.
I cant understand the mentality of people who allow their kids to roam free unsupervised, dont they care? I mean if anything were to happen to my kids i would need to be locked away in a padded room. My children have never gotten in my way, they never asked to be born, and if there Nanny wasn't available to babysit for the evening then i didn't go out. My children came first, as it should be. They are our future, the future of this planet.

[kaylamay]

God, Lonnie you are so right. I was born in England in the mid 60's and would never dream of calling an "elder" by their first names.
My family moved to the US in 1977 and i can remember my new American best friend telling me to call her "mom" by her first name of Kay. I was never able to bring myself to do this and to this very day she is Mrs. Denney. I can remember playing ball as a child, while still living in England, and having it go over the wall in to the neighbors front garden. Now this neighbors garden was his pride and joy and
i was told by my parents to go and knock on their front door and ask permission to cross his flowers and walk on the grass to retrieve my ball. Isn't that just plain respect. Now days kids and some of the parents wouldn't even bother. I didn't have respect beaten in to me. Sadly many parents cannot teach what they themselves were never taught. What will this world be like in another 10-20 years?

[legend758duo]

to shorten this.
its down to four words .
lack of parental responsibility.

they dont care.
never mind nanny state etc.
does nanny state say buy your kids alcohol cos theyre 12?
does it tell u to buy them cigarettes too?

parents are selfish.
some women are just baby factories churning out multi fathered kids with little or no interest in them but for the welfare cheque.
its a disgrace