Advice...

[Kaylz1988]

Ok before I even start an argument with my boyfriend, thought id ask ABers advice. My bloke is going to Brighton on Saturday during the day... hes going with his cousin and a few mates. The thing is one of his mates is his cousins boyfriend!! So I know if he goes her and her mates will go to! But theres one of her friends who I dont exactley like. As shes rang my bloke a couple of times, I am not suggesting that he likes her but it just really irratates me. Coz if any bloke would dare ring me it would be world war 3... The other reason why im abit paro is coz whenever he goes clubbing with his mates and his cousins people he never invites me. Whether its go karting, park, paint balling. Until I brought it up. Its like he has something to hide. So couple of sats ago he invited me up the park with them all. And I felt really out of place no one made no effort to talk to me just say hi and bye basically. Well he knows how i feel about him going out with a group of girls without me. Coz hes exactly the same. If i was to go out with my mate and all her brothers and cousins hed blow his nut. So really i just want advice on how to approach it without causing an argument. Coz we havent argued in nearly 2wks which is wicked. I dont want to spoil it ...

[4getmenot]

dont spoil it then. You were doing great, what do you think he;ll do if you have a go?

[Kaylz1988]

He'll just get ****** off probably. But the thing is I dont want to have a go at him. I want to sit down and talk like civilised ppl. But he'll be the one to start getting lary and start shouting and that.

I just want to sit and talk and then forget it once we've disscussed it

[4getmenot]

dont spoil it then. You were doing great, what do you think he;ll do if you have a go? see what he says. Obvisouly he doesnt think its as big an issue as if you were to go out with a bloke as its his cousin. As I've said before he will do what he wants to do. If you dont like it then maybe you cant be together. No-one should change for anyone. Maybe you need to find someone who appericiates you a bit more.

[Kaylz1988]

Yeah I know its his cousin. I wouldnt expect him to just stop seeing her. But its his cousins mate!

I've changed so many things for him. I aint got a single bloke mate no more coz he will not accept it!

[4getmenot]

yer I know, I couldnt talk to my ex without him saying oh bloody hell stop nagging. But he wouldnt listen no matter what, and he tried to make out I was winging about everything all I wanted was a bit of give and take but I ended up sitting back letting him walk all over me. It should be 50/50 in a relationship.

[4getmenot]

it gets to be something when their problem with us is that we want to see them from time to time. As someone else suggested in another post start going out, dont live each day fitting him in when he doesnt think about you. Go out and he will soon get annoyed at it, if not then maybe you shouldnt be together.

[Kaylz1988]

I aint got a problem with him going out with his cousins and his mates and her mates or whatever. As long as he's being faithful thats fine and as long as he aint going to moan when I do the same thing. Why should I have to cut off my bloke mates and he can still do what the hell he wants?

[4getmenot]

I used to say no to too many mates and say �erm well I cant I�m seeing my bloke� and he would then let me down as he didn�t give a thought to whether it was our night or not. With my new bloke if we�ve got something to do we do it, as well as knowing we have to make time for eachother. But I always say if a mate rings him and he hasn�t heard from me go out.

[Kaylz1988]

Thats kool. Well i aint really got the problem bout seeing him coz im seeing him sat night anyway! So thats fine.

Think i'll just knock this on the head

[cartman99]

Kaylz

Glad to see that you got to go to the park, thats a plus, possibly you cant expect to set the world alight on your first visit to that group of people, it may get better.

I have a friend who keeps his girlfriend and a group of his mates seperate, especially when clubbing is involved, this is because he likes to do certain things that his girlfriend doesn't, like stay up all night getting absolutely trousered. ( off his noodle). Could this be why you dont get invited clubbing?

[4getmenot]

Or maybe he just doesn�t want you to see him as he is with them, or have to feel that he has to look after you all day. Hey come out with me Saturday :-)

[Kaylz1988]

Nah I love raving. Me and my mates go out all the time... just i aint been with him! Not once and ive been with him since i was 16 lol im 19 in 2months!

[Kaylz1988]

Maybe... awww where do u live??

[4getmenot]

norwich way

[Kaylz1988]

I dont even know where that is lol :(

[4getmenot]

East Anglia :-) where are you?

[Kaylz1988]

I live in South London... Croydon

[laurence2]

i reckon hes cheating on you.

The signs are all their, you just haven't worked it out yet

[nuoyg]

Kaylz, if it is on your mind where it is worrying you a little, could you not sit down when you're in a relaxed mood and tell him how you feel...not a row or anything but along the lines of ''if you were in my shoes....", it's your choice but if it is on your mind to the point where it's bugging you then there is a way to get the point across without rowing.

Don't listen to Laurence about the cheating, my cousin Dolls thinks he is naughty saying that.

[Kaylz1988]

Yeah thats what I am planning on doing. Just sitting down and talking to him calmly. But its him that hasnt yet mastered how to sit down and calmly talk to me.

As for him cheating on me, NO i really dont think so. Hes not that kind of person. Hes seen how his mum was treated by his dad and he doesnt treat me bad. He jus doesnt realise that certain things tick me off