it seems you are hung up about having an orgasm,that wont be helping you any you need to relax its good to orgasm but if thats what you are focused on you may never get there ! Good foreplay will help, show the other half what you like how you like it its a good idea to figure this out yourself first so that you can help guide them in the right direction most of all relax and enjoy yourself you don't need to orgasm to enjoy sex