Talking to a stranger when I'm shopping/out walking

[SurreyGuy]

I'm a guy with a lack of self-esteem (although I do know I'm one of life's "good guys") and this is a GENUINE request for advice, so..................

If I'm out shopping or just walking down the road and I see a woman who takes my fancy, how could I approach her with a view to asking her out for a drink in such a way as not to frighten her or freak her out?

I often see some cuties when I'm out (especially in my local supermarket), but they look so un-approachable

T.I.A.

[B00]

Course they look un-aproachable, they've usually got their heads in the freezer cabinet pondering the great mystery of whether to get frozen peas or not!

Hate to be a kill joy, but I don't think there is a way you can approach strangers on the street or your local Asda with a view to dating without looking slightly odd and manic is there? And how do you know she's not buying food to feed her 6foot 5 husband and 7 kids with?

What's wrong with asking women if they'd like a drink at your local meat market (I mean pub) whilst your already there?

[sleepy1]

alot of people do met in super markets ,,,,,,,,,,,

[SurreyGuy]

B00 - I usually look to see if they're wearing a ring. They may well be shopping for their other half, but if I don't ask I'll never know. Plus, you know what they say about "never ASSUME"! :o)

sleepy1 - I saw a feature on a programme last year where some supermarket (in London, I think) had a "singles night" which involved the participants taking a numbered basket/trolley and then leaving messages on a board by the door if they were interested in anyone they had seen - cool! :o)

[Jules001]

Hi Surreyguy - this maybe difficult for you do, although it seems easy to me as I am naturally chatty and friendly so apologies if it is something you feel you couldn't do. When you see the woman putting something in her basket you could say something like 'I've always wanted to try that - how do you cook it or what do you serve it with etc' to break the ice and if she responds positively then you can continue the chat and then steer the conversation around to restaurants/bars and take it from there.

To see it from another side though whilst out shopping I noticed the church had a bric a brac sale or similar on and thought I would pop in and have a browse. On my way out a man was standing near the door and commented on the plants that I had bought so I was friendly and chatty back. I then left the hall and was walking away when he came running out of the church after me, I thought I must have dropped something, but when I stopped he said 'I just have to ask, are you married?' I said I was and he replied with words to the effect of ' Oh I thought so all the good ones have been taken already' Although it was a bit of an ego boost, I was a bit taken aback by this approach and Mr Jules and the kids thought it was hilarious - so just to let you know how it could be perceived. Although my motto is 'If you don't ask- you don't get' so must be worth a try, just be careful not to look like a stalker or a weirdo.

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks Jules001. Actually DOINg it is another matter. Plus, I think a woman chatting to a guy (who is stranger) would be greeted much more politely/flatteringly/as it was meant than a guy talking to a woman.

Zacsmaster - thank you for settling a "do I/don't I" conundrum! :o)

[Amber1571]

Catch her eye and give a great big smile, if she responds with an equally big natural smile, then say "hi". If she responds with a "what a wierdo smile" then continue shopping. Good luck and go for it!

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks

I've often tried the "smile" approach and have often got a lovelt smile back......................................but then thought, "og s***, what do I do know?"! :o)

Having said that, when I smile at some women I either get a look of thunder back or they just ignore me! :o(

[sunflower71]

This thread reminded me of once when i was in supermarket some really sweet old man asked me about sweet potatoes, we had a little chat about them and then wnt on our way.
But I noticed some old lady giving me evils as if he was actually chatting me up!
Im only 35!

But thats a great ice breaker and if you click then thats great.

[DottyH]

do you not see these cutoes when you are actually out on a night out? that is a better place to find someone surely.

[SurreyGuy]

Great story sunflower71! :o)

No, I don't DottyH. Anyway, "a night out" (pub, nightclub) is a) more pressurised and b) less approcah-friendly as (in both instances) the object of my desire is less likely to be on their own.

[hayley2956]

hi surrey guy, have u tried internet dating?? if not, what puts u off?? that way u can get to know someone before u have to meet them and it might be easier to break the ice that way if u did meet!

[SurreyGuy]

Been trying various sites for 18 months! Have found it to be full of liars, game players and women who are "messed-up" and "anti-men"!