How do you stop loving someone?

[emmies51]

How do you make yourself stop wanting and loving someone? i know this guy is no good for me, and we ren't together anymore, but i still love and want him... and i just want it to stop!!

[Le Chat]

Time is the answer....and what you do in that time! If you avoid him at all costs, don't text, don't phone, don't go where he may be , don't even drive past his house, don't e mail and don't messenger, then you will eventually begin to recover and the feelings will lessen. If you keep him active in your mind by feeding yourself with the sight of him, or by having contact with him in any way, the process will be much longer. It will stop emmies but you need to be actively making it stop! Good luck.....from a seasoned relationship vereran!
K

[Trinny]

hi emmies, I second what Le Chat has said. Time is a great healer. I know its hard, but you do have to occupy your mind with something else. I have recommended this book so many times, you would think I had shares in it! but read it. It helps

http://www.randomhouse.com/broadway/breakup/

Hope you feel better soon xx

[lizzydrippin]

I know its really very hard and though part of you really wants to follow the advice of keeping right away sometimes its like a moth propelling itself towards a flame, you just cant help yourself. I remember feeling the same about a guy I was with for 9 yrs, I even married him knowing that he would break my heart one day (well he actually broke it many times before we got married but getting married was meant to be the end of his womanising (which was the problem). He drove me round the twist and hurt me more than I thought possible but I loved him deeply and every time we split I just couldnt help thinking about him every second of the day and night. I couldnt bear life without him. In the end I was given no choice or I probably would have gone on forever forgiving him for everything. It was him that properly finished with me in the end. When I think about it now all these years later he did me a big favour in giving me up. When I look back now Im amazed at what I put up with from this guy, the womanising, the physical beatings I got from him (which I think were probably to do with his guilt) he was so possessive and I couldnt even talk about the price of eggs with someone of the opposite sex without him going ballistic. It was only really when I met a decent bloke and knew what it was to be really loved and respected that I got over him. If you are forced to not see him then Time is a great healer but when the choice is yours its very difficult. I wish you all the best.

[Nat82]

You can't just stop loving someone, unfortunately you can't just switch off your feelings. But when you know he isn't right for you, time will help you get over it. You know you are making the right decision as you say he is no good for you, keep reminding yourself this and it should make it a little bit easier. One day you will find someone who is right for you and will be happy with the choice you made. good luck x

[Marijn]

just wanted to say... I'm really impressed with lizzydripping

[Champagne]

emmies, my relationship ended just 4 days before Christmas and I'm still very mixed up about the guy. Unfortunately we stayed 'friends' and this has not been good for me as we're both still attracted to each other and clearly quite jealous about each other (even though he has now had numerous girlfriends since our break-up and i've met noone!!).

Le Chat is right. The only solution is to cut yourself off from this guy. That's what I'm doing. It's the only way I'll ever be able to let go of him emotionally.

[No1]

its not that hard, you just think about him ten years from now ,,butt ugly, wrinkly, old, fat, bald, spotty, hairy with bad breath, false teth and walkng stick and every time you think of him just remember that image in your head

[WendyS]

There's no easy way, but if you really want to convince yourself that he's not the right person for you, sit down and make a written list of all the unpleasant things about him, why you know he's no good for you and why he's a bad influence on you.
Then, every time you're pining for him, pull out the list and read it again to reinforce the reasons why you broke up with him. Slowly things will get better. Meanwhile, try and keep yourself busy with lots of other activities so that you don't have much time to brood about it.