any last resort suggestions?

[goldilocks24]

my b/f and I have lived together for 4 months now, he constantly is out at the pub and I am constantly sat at home looking at the 4 walls, he never bothers to ask me do I fancy going out anywhere or doing anything, I have spoken to him about this a few times and he has said he will try to make more of an effort with us and spend time with me - which he has not done at all!

He has had chance after chance - he keeps popping to the chippy or shop and ending up staying out till all hours in the pub leaving me sat waiting for whatever he went out for, he says he will be back at a certain time and then we can do things together, he does not come back and always lets me down and eolls in drunk whenever he feels like it, with no thought to me whatsoever or the fact that I have been sat at home on my own waiting for him.

I have had enough and told him that he has blown his last chance with us now. Any last resorts as to what we could try to stay together. things are usually great between us and it would be a shame to end it now.

[oldgrape]

this sounds like my life except we have a child, i've learnt if you wanna go out u have 2 go where he goes and do the things he likes then he may take u out places

[jno]

the short answer would be to do the same thing to him: go out with friends, enjoy yourself. You don't have to be hom alone. But it does kind of raise the question of why the two of you are together if he can't be bothered about being in your company. Do you do a lot of cooking and laundry that makes it convenient for him to stay with you? If so, try not doing it. And for that matter, try to draw up a list of reasons why you want to stay with him. Be as unemotional as possible about what exactly it is you expect in a relationship and ask yourself whether he's providing it.

[4getmenot]

I agree with jno. dont cook him tea or anything, when he gets home say right I;m off out and take the time he uses to go out to spend time with your mates. If he doesnt even start to miss you and goes out even more. get rid

[sairejayne]

When he says he is going to the pub or wherever, why don't you say that you'll go too. Or you could suggest that you go alone and and pop to a mates and be gone ages, so he feels what its like waiting in alone and maybe change his attitude?

Hope things work out ok!

[goldilocks24]

I have tried and tried with this matter so much I don't know what else to do. I do actually try to spend time with my friends but a lot of the time they have things on etc.. so its not that easy. to be honest I don't care if he goes out - I just care that he says that he will be back at a certain time and we will do something together but he dosen't, he does not care about letting me down at all as long as he is OK and he just stays out instead. and also he is quick to jump and run the pub when his mates call but when it comes to me he makes no effort at all.

[4getmenot]

dont give him any nookie that'll change his mind

[goldilocks24]

Oh he defo won't be getting any nookie the way I am feeling at the moment!!!

I have told him it is over - he doesn't seem bothered!

So much for true love and happiness ay!!

[delta733]

to b honest i would not wanna live like that i would move in with a mate for a few days to work out what i want to do n it will hopefully give him a fright and make him realise it really is his last chance. or make him date u agin haveing certain night where you go out together.

[Reverandfunk]

get out now. he won't change just get worse.

If an adulty man doesn't know how to behave in a civilised considerate way and it has to be explained to him what does that tell you about the person?

[Doc Spock]

I was like that with my 2nd wife only the other way round. She would stay out.

The game starts to get silly when you try and get one over on the partner.

Sorry but is sounds doomed.

[someguy0000]

maybe try to enroll in some classes (that youlike).........to get a life for yourself is very important,so you wont have to rely on someone else to keep your mind occupied.
You obviously love him,but i think you have to weigh up the pro's and con's.Maybe he s feeling trapped,and if thats the case perhaps you should seperate for a little while if your financially able to do that, so you know for sure that he will put you first and not his friends.Has he got a drinking problem??

[paulos66]

Fill the fridge with strong Belgium beer, he's bound to prefer that to the P*55 served at his local

[4getmenot]

definately no jiggy then he'd just be drunk at home

[Ethel]

If he has to 'make an effort' to spend time with you, it's time to go.

This is not going to improve and will only get worse.

Get out now.

[paulos66]

Sky Sports on 24 hours a day and get a bigger telly

[Reverandfunk]

Me and Ethel agree!!!!!!!

[goldilocks24]

Thank you all for your responses. I know what I need to do, it will be very difficult but I shall try my best!

Only problem is that I can't afford my house on my own. But that is another problem alltogether ay!

[happyjo]

If it's your house, tell him to go!!!

Get yourself a lodger, preferably a hot looking fireman and get on with your life.

Good luck !!!