Pub Joke

[Seafarer1966]

A man walks into a small town pub. He's a stranger and all the locals look at him wondering who he is. At the bar is the hardest man in town with his adorable girlfriend The stranger walks up to the hard mans girlfriend, rubs her t*ts and says "you're nice....I'm going to turn you upside down, stick a funnel in your f**ny and fill you up with Carlsberg Special Brew...then I'm going to drink it all out through a long straw."
Hearing this the locals begin evacuating the pub. People are running screaming out of the pub, diving out of windows etc. They all knew the hard mans reputation. The last time he lost his temper he hospitalised six police alsatians and ripped apart a police helicopter gunship with his bare hands.
The hard mans girlfriend says "attack." The hard man shakes his head and doesn't move. His girlfriend begs him to have a go at the stranger and defend her honour, but the hard man refuses to move. Frustrated and confused she says "why won't you have a go at that bloke, he's insulted me and I want satisfaction. You're scared of no-one in this town....go on...have a go at him."
The hard man puts down his pint and says "well....any man who can drink fifty-five pints of Special Brew........"

[Seafarer1966]

Don't know why this site won't let us write proper inverted speech commas and puts "e instead...it spoils a joke

[Seafarer1966]

Now I realise that when I physicaly type in & q u o t e I get "!

[Marijn]

" " "

[Marijn]

" something " " something "

[geff_p]

lol

[geff_p]

and quote

[geff_p]

& quote

[geff_p]

" "

[geff_p]

wot r u on about!?

[Marijn]

Sorry, I was just trying out quote marks to see what happened. I tried doing it the long way, and tried the usual way using the shift key and hitting the 2 key. And both ways gave me quote marks.

[Postdog]

Anyway, sorry, gave up when the and quote(s) got too many.

[sophie_1003]

use an inverted comma instead ' doesnt do any funny business when u type it in by just pressing the key ''''''''