Match.com..I need answers asap please!

[unhappychick]

I knew my boyfriend met his old girlfriend a couple of years ago through match.com, however out of curiosity I wanted to see if he was still registered on there, he is, and I feel sick to the stomach, it says his account was active over 3 weeks ago, what does this mean? and what is the longest you can subscribe to them for? I feel like taking a fake pic, registering and sending him an email to see what he does....

[Ice.Maiden]

I've never used anything like this hun, but could it be that details are kept until the subscriber asks for their details to be taken off? Perhaps your bf just forgot?
Please try to curb any jealousy, because if you don't trust NOW, it certainly doesn't sound good for your relationship. x

[Drisgirl]

O I would forget it -my (male) mate subscribed to a site and I took photos one night -a couple of years ago -we still get Emails -H usually gets them first and then we have a laugh cos he has been hooked up for a wee while now -not at the on-line stiff cos its good fun but he didnt have a PC so we had the fun of vetting the ladies -he didnt come up to any of their standards so we let them down gently.

Tell ya good way to meet people -I wouldnt hesitate at all.

Dont worry hun -it'll take ages to come off trust me xxxx

[unhappychick]

Thanks for your quick answers, to be honest, I just dont know what to do...do I set up a fake account/pic and email him on it and see what he does, or should I confront him about it..but if I do hes gonna think im mad for checkin on there, I dont know how to approach this and get to the truth? -x-

[naky-nag-nat]

You know what they say about curiosity...

[Ice.Maiden]

You could always say - look, I know your details are still on....so shall we take them off now? Don't make a song and dance about it. If you're happy with your man in other respects, then it seems silly to rock the boat over nothing much. x

[unhappychick]

I see what your saying ice maiden, I could say one of my mates went on it and I was with her and we done a local search and he come up, I spose thats a way of gettin round it...I feel that it has put me off him, his 1st preference was someone asian or latino...im white and blonde! Also his age range has disgusted me 18-40, and he said on there he would be happy to date someone with children who dont live with the mother...I have 2 children that live with me, im just feelin like crap now, wondering if all what he says to me about living together etc is true, I really looked up to him, and he is a really good lookin fella, dunno why he even put himself on there a couple of years ago, he didnt need to. For someone who I thought was fantastic in every way, I feel my feelings have been diminshed some what

[unhappychick]

Joe King:- I dont know how to change it? could you gimme some help please?!

[Velvetee]

You can subscribe to Match.com and other sites for up to 12 months. However, if it shows his account has been active in the last 3 weeks, he has probably logged on, but not regularly.

Possibly, he's still logging on just out of curiosity. I've been on similar sites and have logged on ocassionally, out of boredom, but when I met my boyfriend, I either deleted profiles or deactivated them from search lists.

Honey traps aren't a good idea, as you might find out something you'd rather not, so instead of trying to entrap him, you should ask him outright and tell him you are unhappy about him still being on the site. You don't even need to tell him you were checking up on him, tell him one of your friends saw him there.

If he really cares for you, then he will delete his profile, if not, then you have possibly become involved with an internet serial dater, of which there are many.

[Ice.Maiden]

Don't dig yourself into a rut hun - just admit that you happened to have a look, out of curiousity - and found his details still there. Laugh about it, rather than make a scene. Also, I don't know you of course, but you sound a little insecure to me - not meant unkindly! You've heard the saying about "opposites attract"? Well obviously he must like how you look, or he wouldn't be with you. Stop comparing yourself to the idea of what you think he's looking for. If you're always happy to see him, and have fun, then he's not going to want to look elsewhere. x

[unhappychick]

ice maiden, yep I spose I am insecure, the truth is, I feel he is too good for me, I am diggin myself into a rut I know, and im not upset about hearing the truth about my being insecure, appreciate your honesty! I will broach the subject 2moro when I see him, in a calm manner and see what he says, also if I check it at a later date and it is still on there, well, I know what I have to do

Thanks everyone for your help -x-

[Ice.Maiden]

Never think that anyone's too good for you hun. If you care enough about yourself, then others'll see that, and care for you also. Just try and relax, and don't get possessive witht eh guy. If it's meant to be - it'll all work out. best of luck. xx

[unhappychick]

Thanks Ice Maiden, should have had that username for myself, ive been hurt a lot in the past and find I have zero tolerance on ******** if you know what I mean, you have helped me no end, and im a lot calmer now, and have gathered my thoughts for tommorow night, will post what happened on friday morning...watch this space! -x-

[Ice.Maiden]

Bless. I'm sure it's not going to be easy for you to change overnight, but everytime you feel a bit wobbly, look at your man, and remind yourself that whatever he's done in the past, he's with YOU now. Men are often attracted to confident women, and if you allow him some space, and don't always want to check up on him, or question him, i think you'll find yourself feeling a lot happier. We'll look out for you. xx

[unhappychick]

Hi all, just to let you know, that I spoke with him this morning about it, He knew summink was wrong and asked me what was the matter, I said I got a phonecall last night from a mate who claimed to have seen him on a dating site and that I thought she had got it wrong and went and see for myself and I said, it was you! He said he was so sorry, and that it was still on there from a couple of years ago and that he didnt want me feeling insecure and that when he comes round later, he will make it his 1st proirity to delete the account in front of me, so was pleased to hear that! He asked me why I didnt ring him about it last night, and I said I had to sleep on it otherwise I would have erupted, he kept on apologising and said if it had of been the other way round, he would have felt sick to the stomach like me.....so all in all im happy with his response to it, and thanks once again for all your comments, especially ICE MAIDEN, this woman is good!!! -x-

[RevFunk]

In all fairness I think you need to be having a word with your boyfriend and ask him.

[sleepy1]

i would get him excited then cut his man hood off lol

[weeal]

been there, done it, my ex was a member of at least 5 sites with various email addys and addicted to them, early warning sign I would say

At first i joined a few and did catch him but decided life had more to offer than all that

dont go down this route, it will destroy your self worth