stick or split?

[tazz]

hi im in a 8 yr relationship with 2 kids aged 3 and 2. but lately our relationship has gone down hill n dont seem to be progressing. i feel a bit detacted and insurcure as i have a diff last name to my partner and kids as they had my partners name as we agreed oneday we will be married. ive talked to my partner about this and he dont seem to think we need to get married. the rejection has lead me to being very depressed and have no confidence anymore. i now dont know what to do about any of this. any feed bk would be great.x

[cazzz1975]

I think a serious discussion is needed, you need to let him know how important this is to you and to the family as a whole.

he may be feeling stressed out, he may be worried about funding a wedding (especially nowadays ) either way communication is sorely needed

[tazz]

its not money we can afford it, im starting to think that maybe he dont love me anymore.(when i was preg with my 2nd baby he lied n said he was going to a meeting then after i found out he went on a work do with a women that he had on his phone as a man) he said nothing happened n i donno what i believe. now i just think hes with me 4 the kids.

[bunnygirl4u]

I think u should work on ur yourself for a while and try and build up your confidence, getting out more, meeting new people. I would maybe even consider talking to ur doctor about ur depression. I know u desperately want marriage but uv got to remember thats not going to be the answer to all ur problems. x

[Kassee]

Tell him you want marriage - if he refuses. You could always change your surname to that of your children's and partners by deed poll. What about your home etc, who does that belong to? If everything is in your partner's name then you are bound to feel insecure.

If you tell him how you feel and he refuses to marry you, then you could always play him and his own game. Make a life for yourself and your children, stop doing his cooking, washing, meals etc. Let him be the one that starts to feel insecure. Book yourself a holiday, just you and the two children. All this might work, or the relationship may end, but at least you will know where you stand.