cheating and stuff....

[nannon]

Right I was away on a girly weekend last weekend and the conversation (as always!) got around to men and relationships.
Bearing in mind two of us are 23, one single and one in r'ship and one girl a bit older...maybe 27 and married with kids.
They asked me if i have ever cheated and would i ever amd i said def. not. I always think if i get to the point where i could be with someone else i would have to seriously question my relationship - they said i was silly.

Then we got round to saying - what if your boyf. cheated would you leave him? I said yes, i think its a total lack of respect more than anything, If i had kids i still think yes but obviously i cant say 100% as i dont have kids. But i'm about 97% sure that i would leave. They said why ruin a family just because he strayed once? But surely if you let him get away with it once he will do it again?

The older girl said that she KNEW that when she first got with her partner she knew that once a week when he went out he was going to see/have sex with his ex..and she stayed.

They both share the view that "what you dont know wont hurt". One of them said her bloke has said before if he ever did cheat she would never find out as he wouldn't hurt her by letting it ever come out?!! Like he's doing her a favour!
Thing is she said that she could see how potentially she could cheat, not that she ever plans to, and the other girl has had an affair although she is married with kids and her partner has also had an affair.

They think that my views are silly and immature and childish. Are they right? Will i never find anyone because i set goals to high? Are my goals really to high to want a man who is honest and wont sleep around?

[joggerjayne]

Nope. Said this before, but whatever you do or don't get from a friend or boyfriend, you must should expect loyalty.

You can tease and flirt as much as you like but, when it comes to the crunch, you should never step over the line and betray your friends or your boyfriend, and they should give you the same loyalty back.

[nannon]

Thank you! Thought i was being unrealistic and then thought - "christ i'm never going to find anyone then" cuz i could not stand for that!
Thing is the girl who's in r'ship -her bloke has said she is the only person he hasnt cheated one....i smell a rat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think she is scared....

[joggerjayne]

I should add ..

... if you know that you are completely loyal to each other, then you can enjoy flirting. But, it only works if that loyalty s in place first, and it has to be absolute 100% loyalty. Don't settle for less.

[nannon]

yeah i think innocent flirting is ok - thats harmless - unless it really upsets the other person and then it should be addressed!