body embarrassment

[PDW1964]

i have just started seeing a girl and we both really want to sleep with each other.however,she is embarrassed about her body (in particular a caesarian scar). she says
she is not looking for compliments or reassurance but want to know what to say to put her at ease?thx

[tigwig]

I wouldn't say anything unless she asks you to. Just ignore it and carry on as you would! I mean its probably hardly noticeable she is just being insecure and paranoid.
Keep telling her how much you care for her and reassure her that scars don't matter. It might be worth waiting until you get to know each other a little better before jumping into bed or at least until you are both a lot more comfortable with each other.

[obNOXious]

Tell her how you FEEL about her (with no reference to her body image). My ex wife had stretch marks because she has had children, they never bothered me and obviously don't bother her new man, but she was fantastically parnoid about them to the point of self loathing.
Tigwig is right in that it takes a while to be fully comfortable with anyone new, and it might be years even before she's comfortable enough for you to kiss her from head to toe without cringing at her own self image, but if you're earnest and honest and committed to the PERSON she is then eventually her self esteem will pick itself up, so say little and if you must say anything tell her it's scarecely noticeable and that you don't find it unattractive, but that you find HER immensely attractive and that is just a tiny composite part of the great woman that you consider her to be.

[jno]

is it possible she actually doesn't want to, and is using this as an excuse? I'm not saying this is the case, but perhaps something you could bear in mind.

[Octavius]

You could just turn the lights off.

[pmorris1961]

i agree with jno, although i think she may not want to because of her thoughts about her body........the one fuelling the other..........

It is so lovely that you care so much about her that you are prepared to ask for advice, you are just the right person for her to help her thru this !!!

good luck

[HJT40]

OK PDW,

From a personal point of view I recently started seeing someone and I have issues with my body, so I totally understand where she is coming from. What may seem minor flaws to the other person can be a major hurdle to us girls.

Initially the lights were off and that was a huge hurdle out of the way, take it slowly and she will gradually learn to trust you and realise that this scar is part of what makes her the person you care about.

A bit like my wobbly belly, small boobs and smelly feet!! And a bit like my partners small, yet perfect belly, his nicely receeding hairline and the monobrow which frames his beautiful eyes. It is all relative to the person.

You may not need to say anything, but if you do just let her know that you like everything about her because that is who she is.

Good luck and it does get easier and better!!! ;-)

[Octavius]

I am glad that someone agrees with me about the lights, I wasn't being facetious.

If it's purely a visual thing the dark can provide a relaxing atmosphere with a sensual feeling of intimacy. She might still panic if your hands (or lips etc) get close to the scar, but knowing and reasuring her that it is just a physical/touching sensation, rather than a visual one should help things go smoothely and most improtantly, passionately.

[terambulan]

What gf says is not in her brain......she's not ready to 'sleep' (sexual intercourse) with u.....end-of!

".......have just started seeing a girl and we both really want to sleep with each other......" Bah. Take her for a long drive, pull up for a snooze.....have some zzzzz's together......enuf?

[gucciman]

theres not a woman on the planet whos happy with their body.

just kiss every inch of her body and keep telling her shes so gorgeous and sexy and she drives you wild.

[giginfoman]

just give her that bigger stiffenin she will forget wot a gret mess she is!!!!