Should i...

[hehman]

I had a year relationship with a girl from liverpool, we split in August as we could not keep affording to fly to be together, and it put stress on the relationsip and we split, but not as enemies, we just stopped chatting, i have tried to except it could never work as i live in the channel islands and could not leave my daughter to move to her, or her leave her 2 kids to be with me,thing is not a day has gone by when i have not thought about her, wondering what she is doing etc etc, now its that time of the year when i think about the most, i was thinkin of puttin my closure to it all by sendin a xmas card and maybe puttin a short letter in tellin her how i felt since we split..but this is me sayin goodbye, askin her not to reply as i don't want to know if she has moved on etc..my friends tell me not to,,but i'm still hurting inside and i feel the only way i can move on is to write and close it my way, any advice before i write the card and letter.

Paul

[terambulan]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Hard to be separated from ppl you gel with. You're still friends so a card would be in order. Who knows where it may lead? Good luck.

[sqad617]

Leave well alone considering that she hasn't contacted you since August, she has obviously accepted the split. What are you going to achieve, as you said in your question that distance was a problem.......and that isn't going to alter.

[Lakitu]

She would she have 'obviously' accepted the split? How do you know she's not sitting in Liverpool wondering the same thing? :o/

[MrBounty]

Then you've got the problem that, if you write the letter and tell her not to reply, you've said so much, maybe asked a bunch of questions, but you know that you'll never get a reply to them.

You've got questions now, but how would it feel knowing you have asked them, but will not get a reply?

If i were you, i'd write the letter and start communication up that way.....if you know that you'll never be together, why not stay friends?
And if writing to eachother is an easier way to stay friends, but not get too close, then where's the problem?

[sqad617]

Correct Lakitu, just a feeling based on years of experience.........not sure of what experience........but story is too familiar.

[hehman]

Goodbyegirl...sorry did not realise i was to reply to all the answers of which i am most grateful.....i have took on board all the answers but am still undecided ... cos the hurt is less..i know my ex will reply and i no when i am home at xmas we could meet up and start the whole cycle again...i will post what i did on here next week...again sorry to have annoyed u...cheers again to all who have replied.

Paul

[sara3]

can't one of you move, and take their kids with.. instead of leaving them behind?

[hehman]

Thanks Sara,

i asked her to come to jersey with her 2 kids but one wants to come the older one did'nt as for me my daughter would not leave as she lives with her mum..this was one of the main reasons we ended...i just wish i would wake up and i could forget and move on...4 months now ..but not a day goes by that i don't think of her...i think even though my heart wants to send that xmas card to her..but my head tells me to leave it Paul..cos i know if contacts made the cycle may begin again..and i can't allow myself to fall in the state of depression i was in...so its gonna be hard but i have very good and close friends who help me when i'm down..thanks again
Paul