relationship dilemma - a tricky, weird one...

[joko]

i have been seen a 25 yr old guy for 6 weeks, im 36, very intensely, spent almost every minute possible together, from the moment he got home from work and every day off etc...at his request - he would be on the phone wanted to know how long id be if i was 20 mins late etc
so it was a lot of time together, even though it may not be that long 'calendar-wise'.
during that time we talked deeply and he said he loved me and was shocked that he actually loved someone as he never had before (tho he hasnt had many girlfrinds to compare this too, none for 7 years!)

well a few weeks ago he ran out of citalopram...and just didnt get any more...and ever since he is like a diffrernt person, weird, cold, an kinda cruel.

he reckons theres no problem and that this is the real him! but i dont think so...

he intends to go back on them soon but is delaying it cos of the horrid startup symptoms...

so my dilemma is... do i hang in there an hope he goes back to normal soon...or just give up and let him get on with it...??
we are technically still a couple...

if he doesnt go back to like before i cant be with him - hes too frustating....

i am also aware that he may just have changed his mind an gone off me...but it is quite a concidence and very extreme change from one end of emotion to the other within days.

everythin was great before.

any ideas advice?

my instinct is not to just give up on him - because if he is not well or whatver....i would hope hed stick by me if it was the other way round you know...but am i wastin my time, hopin for somehting to go back to the way it was...
i have researched withdrawal symptoms/cold turkey and they can be very dangerous mentally an physically...

[happyone2]

Whilst i can see your point about wanting to be there for someone because you would want someone to stick by you i would actually not agree with staying with him.

It would appear from what you say, he has intentionally taken himself off a drug that keeps him sane !!! and having done so and experienced the change in himself still wants to stay off it because its not tooo nice................... neither is a complete personality change either i would have thought !!!

Stay by all means with someone who wants to help themselves - but with someone who is deliberately making themself ill....................... a waste of your time and energy.

I think you should find someone who will appreciate your wondeful ability to lavish love on them !!!

good luck

[tufty7]

It very much sounds like he should not have come of his tabs , His doctor obviously felt that he needed a hand getting to grips with a little anxiety Thats why he prescribed them, He may have been been lonely until you came along , looking at it through his eyes , he probably felt he was walking on air when he met you and he felt better , anyway he should go back on the tabs and then when he feels really better he needs to see the doctor who will wean him off them , Just give him time to get straight and get them back in his system , he will feel better in a few weeks, being anxious about something you cannot pin point is a terribel thing , but citalapram will assist him in getting sleep and normality back so he can cope properly with what the world throws at him , he will be just fine ... ,

[QueenOfAmber]

It's a toughie...

If it were me personally I would just hang in there for like at the maximum for like, a couple of weeks (maybe four?) otherwise don't take it. If he means it like that is his 'real self' then maybe you two shouldn't be together....
I know this is really judgmental but maybe there's a reason he hasn't had a girlfriend for over 7 years - you never know right? But at the end of the day this is your decision, all I can do is influence you but I hope it goes well.
Hope this helps. :)

[bemore]

Ive allready answered this question on another post. You have asked the same question twice.

Why???

[joko]

thanks for all your replies.

i will try ot take on board what you have said.

i posted the other first but it didtn appear to hav egone through...then i decided to put it in this, 'more dedicated to the issue' section.
then i realised both were up - but i have had some great replies from both, so havent deleted either Q, as i want to re-read them