Relationship question

[Sarah*]

Hi,i'm in a bit of a relationship dilemma. I've recently broken up with my long term boyfriend of 6 yrs, but we own a house together so we are still living together in seperate rooms and everything. It is working out ok, there is no bad atmosphere or anything. The thing is I've been seeing this other guy the last couple of weeks and his friend told him that he is playing it cool towards me cos of my situation, he doesnt want to be seen as breaking up my relationship and he wants me to make the first move. How do I approach this with him? I am such a worrier and am losing sleep and everything over the whole thing.

[georgit79]

Well, for starters, have you made it clear to this guy that you and your ex are definitely over and are only together because of the house situation? How long have you been living together but not together, if you know what I mean? And are you looking to settle this permanently? Because one of you will have to move out pretty soon if you want to move on into other relationships. It seems pretty obvious to me that this guy feels really uncomfortable with your living situation, so you need to reassure him that you like him and you want this to go somewhere. You obviously can't bring him back to yours (or at least I don't think so, not while your ex is still living there). Are you ready for that stage yet? Because if so, invite yourself round to his for a 'sleepover'. You can't get more obvious than that!

[georgit79]

Well, for starters, have you made it clear to this guy that you and your ex are definitely over and are only together because of the house situation? How long have you been living together but not together, if you know what I mean? And are you looking to settle this permanently? Because one of you will have to move out pretty soon if you want to move on into other relationships. It seems pretty obvious to me that this guy feels really uncomfortable with your living situation, so you need to reassure him that you like him and you want this to go somewhere. You obviously can't bring him back to yours (or at least I don't think so, not while your ex is still living there). Are you ready for that stage yet? Because if so, invite yourself round to his for a 'sleepover'. You can't get more obvious than that!

[georgit79]

Well, since I seem to be the only one to be interested in your 'dilemma', Sarah, I thought I'd ask if you've got anywhere with the situation yet?

[Sarah*]

Thanks for your interest georgit79, not yet. Possibly meeting him tonight so I should know more then! I'll let you know when I have an update

[Tinker]

HI sarah, I live with my ex and things are going ok. Like you, my new boyf didn't want to be seen as the cause of our break up (which of course he wasn't). He didn't want to come back to the flat at first in case my ex was in, but after about 6 weeks it was all ok. I'd say, give it a bit of time so that the dust is settled and see how your ex and your new man feel. Me and my ex were together for just over 2 years when we broke up.......it was weird at first, but now it's ok!! Good luck! x