Non Birthday wishes!!

[Treena]

Yesterday I celebrated my Birthday, not a milestone one, but a Birthday nonetheless!! My brother and his family, have a history of not sending greetings in any form, saying they can't afford the cost of a text, phone call free ecard etc. and yet if I or other members of the family send their cards AND gifts late or God forbiid 'forget' their Birthdays, Wedding Anniversary etc all hell is let loose. Now there is a pretty shaky relationship between my sister in law and the family, and I do feel that we are all bending over backwards to keep on her right side.... I guess it hurt the most yesterday when my neice of 22, who keeps going in about how 'grown up' she is living with her boyfreind etc, when prompted that it was my Birthday, texted back and asked 'your problem being..' Maybe I am expecting too much, but having had years of crap or no Chirstmas presents, and no acknowledgement of mine or my other family members birthdays, I've finally had enough... So my questions are these - 1) Am I/we expecting too much 2) If not, how do I handle this situation so that the family is kept 'intact'? All thoughts very welcome!! Thank you Treena

[sara3]

toughie, but 1) no, you're not expecting too much and 2) you just have to accept that people are different, often selfish and sometimes just horrible.

sometimes I fight to keep my family together, but sometimes I know it's a losing battle. I decide I won't bother but something gets the better of me, and I try again!

rise above it, and do very little unless you really feel it's worth the heartache.

[sara3]

PS - happy birthday for yesterday.. I'd have texted you had I known ;o)

[gbradfield]

at the end of the it doesnt cost no more than 10p to say happy birthday...... its just lazyness! what i would suggest is next time they ask 'wheres my card?' just calmly reply 'where was mine'?

[Lil O'lady]

Families you are born with - friends, you make.

[terambulan]

What's worse than no birthday acknowledgement......the 'withdrawn' phone calls I get, checking me out,I do answer the calls which go dead. Sad or wot?

Some people are sooooo desperate for my dulcit tones, eh?

[Nosha123]

frankly I am a member of the treat others as you would have them treat you - and since they dont seem to be - stuff them!
'forget' their next birthday and when they make the expected fuss - tell them - why? Your birthday is no biggie is it? Cos mine certainly wasnt to you!!!

Why are you supposed to pander to them and get jack all in return...
STuff them - big time!
I appreciate every card I get for a birthday - especially as I get older... shame they cant even be a little bit thoughtful towards you!

[Nosha123]

they also should not expect people to be 'in fear' of forgetting their birthdays - how awful.. I expect everyone sends them birthday wishes cos they are too scared not to! Therefore it cant be genuine can it! Done out of duty rather than love

[flip_flop]

Lil O' Lady is spot on.

Tell them all to **** off - certain members of my family are ******* as well, so I treat them as one would a cancerous growth, and cut them out.

Job done.

Life is too short to bother trying to appease people you don't like.

I generally use the 'pub test'

If they are people I wouldn't choose to have a drink with in the pub. then I just don't bother dealing with/seeing them.

[flip_flop]

Nanny AB has censored the 'F' word and 't o s s e r s'

[lozzylou]

why dont you all make a deal with each other. that no one buys ata ll. now we have lots of little kids in our family all the brothers and sidters have aggredd that we only buy for the kids. the adults will just get a card. that way we know what to expect on our birthday.

[Whickerman]

happy birthday Treena.

Screw that inconsiderate crowd, you don't need them.