courtesy, at least for the one you claim to love

[kdawg]

hi, im in a long distance relationship with a girl in the us. there is a 5 hour time difference, me being 5 hrs ahead. I call and she is often with friends. She never, never decides to take 10 mins leave the room and have a conversation; i invariably have to call back. Today I called she was having dinner. Ok. I called back few hours later she was chatting to her friend/ Ok. I call 3rd time and she is still there so i said i'd caht to her tomorrow. I think this is a bit much. To be honest, Im never off this site looking for answers about this girl.I'm losing my marbles.

[Ice.Maiden]

Why don't you leave her alone for a bit, and let her contact YOU?

[trt]

Cant you take a hint, she doesn't want to know!

[mrs.chappie]

I agree with Ice and trt. It very much sounds like she is giving you the brush off.

[:o(

Forget her and find someone else.

[Velvetee]

Perhaps you need to watch that film or read the book, "He's not that into you". In your case it's a she.

Honestly, if she was that interested, she would be glad to hear from you, but sounds like she's having a great time without you. Long distance relationships are not the easiest and for it to work, both parties need total committment.

If I were you, I'd cut my losses, stop wasting money on international phone calls and find someone closer to home, who IS interested.

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, I'm sorry, but it sounds as though there's no relationship there at all - just a few emails or texts/calls that are petering out.

[jno]

is this the same girl who, 5 posts down, was doing nude modelling? You are a busy bee.

[kdawg]

Jno, yup thats the same girl. This is a nightmare man. I didn't make it clear, but she is moving to London in two weeks for me but I have an all pervading fear that she doesn't give a f***k even though she says 'i love you' in every sentence. Yes those words are great to hear, but they don't sit right with her actions, such as the 'brushing me off'. I feel so trapped in that, I know i should finish with her, but she is coming and feel like I should wait and see how it goes here. Its a ridiculous situation, and the fact that I'm moving to London for the first time and starting a new job too are just adding to the strain of it all.

[Ice.Maiden]

I think you should take this relationship very slowly, even if this girl does come over. Maybe she's at a time in her life when she's not really sure of what she wants. Moving to a new country's always a big thing, and no doubt exciting for her, but if I were you, I'd follow your intuition and not rush into getting married or settling down with any family, etc. If she turns up, both spend a lot of time getting to know each other properly, and concentrate on your work. If, after a few months, you feel that it's not working - say so, and move on.

[barney1966]

is this the same girl, the ardent feminist, you are discussing marriage and children with and she doesn't want to take your name?

[kdawg]

yup

[barney1966]

you are always on here starting threads about this girl - she sounds like a total nightmare tbh. I'd move on.

[kdawg]

God. I know and acknowledged that in the original thread. It is a total headwreck. Gonna see what happens and no doubt I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED.

[barney1966]

no doubt

is also she the one who has also been in abusive relationships in the past ? I'd add a jokey comment but would no doubt get pilloried on here.

[kdawg]

yes thats the same girl. i should know better. tell me barney its ok. say what you want.

[barney1966]

well lets just say she sounds extremely hard work, high maintenance and quite a challenge

so GL and rather you than me

[MWB]

Your "girlfriend" sounds like a selfish, unstable b1tch!
She is really playing head games with you isn't she!
Sounds like she's feigning interest in you to get settled when she gets to the UK - then she'll be off. She'll stay with you - you'll pay all the rent, food, power, etc.
Get over yourself kdawg. She might have a great body & pretty face & she might be a great lay, but she is only saying what you want to hear & they sound like empty words.
Men have stuffed me around too, but I would NEVER lead a man on with the promise of love in one breath then dismiss them in the next.
I think you will try to keep this "relationship" going, but from the posts I read of yours, it is not healthy for you. It's fine & dandy for her.
PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION.
Please?

[sara3]

your behaviour is almost obsessive, and your "relationship" is one-sided. stop calling her and you'll see how much she cares.

I'd say, let her go. you're not a match.. I've said it before!

[MWB]

But the thing is "sara3" opposites can attract - at first!

It can be exciting to be with someone totally different from yourself. You meet a whole new way of life. Learn how/what others think, etc, etc.

But after a while it can become exausting, or boring.