Grrrrr, men!!

[indieanna86]

Bit of a rant here, but I guess my main question is why are men such idiots??

Last September I went through quite a lot of heartache when I was dumped. It's only in the last 8 weeks or so that I've really picked myself up and decided to build my life again.
So at the start of Jan I joined a dating site and within a few days got a message from a nice sounding guy. We continued to email for a few weeks, then swapped numbers and eventually went on our first date last Saturday.
It really was the best date I've ever had, we spent the whole day together, laughing, talking etc and spent a good 40 mins 'saying' goodbye at the end. He got in touch the next day and asked if I was free again this weekend - great! We also spoke the next day, and the next. But on Wednesday, it all stopped and I haven't heard from him since. I sent a text asking if all was ok and left a voicemail asking if we're still on for this weekend but clearly not.

So, whats the point in asking me out again and keeping in touch the few days following our date if he didn't really want to see me? I know I'm going to get lots of 'you win some, you lose some, just move on' etc. But he was a really great guy and showed no signs of not liking me, so I am kinda upset. It feels like I built myself up to be knocked straight back down again : (

Rant over!

[sara3]

ahhh Indi... the joy of dating sites!

I'm sorry.. as a seasoned dating site user, this happens all the time. the sites are full of all kinds of game players who are there for all kinds of games. lots are married, most are strange in one way or the other. my theory is that I'm (relatively) normal, so there must be some normal men out there.. but so far......... !!!

don't take it to heart. something has obviously distracted him so leave him be. if he comes back to you with a good excuse give it some thought but don't assume this won't happen again.

I don't mean you should never use a dating site, but approach with caution. I know people it has worked for, but it's been a bit of a minefield for me :o/

[Sachs]

Indie,
could be anything! Might have nothing whatsoever to do with you. Just be patient & wait & see if he rings. I hope things turn out well for you anyway xxx

[tamborine]

judging by my two 'unattached' adult kids (both over 30 & financially independant) they just dont want commitment nor children. A bit of nookey without strings seems to be the vogue.

Both are too afraid at depleting their assets to an unsuccessful coupling.

[indieanna86]

Hmmm, well I'm definitely not after anything like marriage or kids, I'm only 22! He's 26 and a real sweetheart. Before we met and were just emailing, he did used to take days to get back to me, and he was silent a couple of days before our date but obviously got in touch in the end, so it's not unusual for him to be rubbish at replying, but still, we were meant to meet up this weekend and forcing myself not to call him again is taking every bit of will power I have! Aaarrggh!

[sara3]

don't do it! he sounds like he's either married (or as good as) or has other women on the go. don't be a part of that, please!

[indieanna86]

Oh no Sara, I genuinely don't think he's married at all and didn't seem the type to play around, to be honest he kind of had an air of innocence about him - like he didn't really know what to do around girls!
I'm not being blind, or trying to find excuses for him, but we had a 1 hour phone conversation while he was sat with his sister (who I met briefly, he lives at home still) so there's no chance he's married and very little chance he's playing around.
He does work 11 hour shifts everyday though, and doesn't finish work until midnight, so I guess that's as good an excuse as any to take time in replying. It just seems a little odd to me that he hasn't at least called me back....

[tamborine]

He's shy and possibly his sis is teasing or had an input. Nothing worse than men's sisters opinions in the start of relationships. Wait for him to contact you.....it'll be worth it when he does and he will 'cause you're telepathising him to; as we all are now.

Keep us updated ;-)

[puppykins]

sara3 dating site user lol 'seasnd' lol

ha ha ha ha

why dont you ask out someone who u think is attractive when u see them in public? internet dating is for geeks and wierdos. get real

and if no one is asking you out in real life then you must have something wrong with your appearance. sort it out. turning to internet dating is for tthe weak

[stompe]

Thats not nice!^^^^^^^^^ Sara Is Great

[indieanna86]

Thanks for the constructive answer puppykins, I'm sure you must have men falling at your feet with that charming personality you have there...

[puppykins]

wow u r only 22! look i can imagine that if you are a tired worn out nobody with no social skills then ya use a dating site (suitable for sara3 i guess) but a girl your age definatelly should be out there getting real situations. could i ask if you are over wieght?

[puppykins]

actually indianna with my ripped body, charm and aura of success i have people dropping at my feet everywhere i go

[indieanna86]

Haha! If you want my vital statistics then I'm 5'10" tall, 9 stone, nice and toned, long dark hair, light blue eyes. I can assure you that I have no problem talking to guys in real life but the trouble with living in a town full of idiots....is that they're all idiots.

[puppykins]

ok but you have a long nose right?

[indieanna86]

Funnily enough, no I don't.

Please, if you've got nothing decent to say just don't bother saying anything at all...

[sara3]

puppykins, I'd rather be on my own than spouting some nonsense about a 20+ yr old girlfriend who was/wasn't a virgin, has an STD, is/isn't pregnant, doesn't want to be with you, etc...

yes, you're a great catch!

oh, and you're on the net 24/7. your "real" life must be very fulfilling!

[puppykins]

you see how malicious sara3 is. lol no wonder she is on a dating site with such a personality defect.
im on the internet when i am at work a lot yes and i am on now as the cleaners are around and im keeping out of the way.

indianna maybe you smell? do you were perfume?

[sara3]

I'm not malicious (big word, btw.. well done!), I'm just tired of your ****, like most people.

[puppykins]

lol.

[indieanna86]

Lets just not respond to puppykins, its really not worth it.