Can someone explain to me how men think?!!!!

[Barmaid]

Men, honestly! I met someone whom I thought to be genuine 5 weeks ago. He is wonderful in every way, attentive, funny, talks to me, listens to me, tactile, caring, makes me laugh and is a true gentleman. As a wonderful addition he takes me to fantastic places, buys me flowers for no reason whatsoever, whispers sweet nothings, sends me sweet texts, calls me just to say he is thinking of me etc.

He has been "hinting" for the last 2 weeks about us being together permanently and him moving in. So tonight the subject came up along with a professional dinner to which he is escorting me. All of a sudden, I am now agreeing with him (hitherto, I have backed off and calmed it down) and now he is the one who suddenly has cold feet. Is he playing me? Is he toying with me? It takes a lot for me to be able to open up to someone and to me it is all a bit soon, but it was inevitable that I was going to be worn down by his constant "love making" (and I don't mean that in a sexual sense). He seems to have worked really hard to get me to that point, yet when he gets it, it freaks him out.

Should I just think "sod it another player" and pick up where I left off?!

[stompe2]

Yer Cazzz But who do they Marry?

[sara3]

stompe.. they marry the one who is left standing!

nk, where's your sense of romance?!!

[cazzz1975]

the stunner if they could keep her and not feel insecure

[stompe2]

Who makes a man insecure? suppose your say us?

[tamborine]

Lots of men want submissive women....but the man of class, educated, eloquent and taste who moves in finer circles needs and wants an equal woman.

You're looking in the wrong places. You'll trip over him at work soon.

[stompe2]

A marriage Isn't made in heaven! its Fooking hard work for Both of You Tolerance,understanding, look back and be Honest with your self did you put the work in???

[cazzz1975]

he doesnt want his wife being ogled at and hit on by other males I would imagine

[cazzz1975]

you make yourself insecure

[stompe2]

How long do looks last? then what are you left with? give me a plain jane anytime!

[stompe2]

Yeah cazzz all women are Blameless!

[no-knowledge]

are you divorced stompy?

[stompe2]

Oy Barmaid its your thread lol

[stompe2]

See gone when you need them! LOL

[Barmaid]

I'm here. Just on the phone. Listening to my friend's relationship tales of woe, Back in a bit!

[Barmaid]

Leg - as always, I appreciate your honesty and candid point of view, babe. To be fair, I had already honed in on the "playing me" bit. Hence that is the way I phrased my post (which was actually more of a rant than a question). you are right. too much too soon. i kind of take the view that it is a bit of a "thrill of the chase" thing with him. He asked me two weeks ago about moving in to which my response was "no effing way", he has slowly built on that until tonight when I start to soften then he bottles it.

I am kind of of the view, that it has now run its course. We shall see what the next couple of weeks will bring - we both have some breathing space now since he is flying home (Spain) for a few days and I am busy at work.

Still, it's been fun all the same! Has been nice to be treated like a lady and respected with some great conversations. We have seen each other every day for the last few weeks, so I could do with some space!!!!

[sqad617]

My love, I cannot see the "big deal". Why does marriage have to enter into it? Enjoy each other and see what comes. Now:

Some women you would marry but would never have as a mistress.

Some women you would have as a mistress but would never marry.

What do you want?

What does he want.

A female Barrister would turn me on, but not sure of I would like to marry one (to me it would be like being married to Ethel)

[Bbbananas]

I think you've probably had a lucky escape in some ways barmaid. Talking about moving in & commitment after only 5 weeks is a little unrealistic & rushing it - that would have sounded off alarm bells with me straight away.

I had a guy before the guy who I'm with now - started saying he was in love with me after only 3 months. It scared me off. If only he'd took it a little more slowly, who knows - but 3 months? He and I were both on the rebound.

After I cooled it off with him, he went back to his ex. They are getting married later this year - not because he particularly wants to, but because he hates living alone. He's 37 FFS !!!

There's plenty more fish in the sea - and thankfully they're not all sharks or shrimps. Put up a sign on your door the next time he comes round, 'Gone Fishing'.