Listener 4847 Demeaning By Lionheart
Crosswords1 min ago
Texting / ringing the ex when drunk
9 Answers
So, Im looking for a male opinion really on this.....
The ex (of 5 years ago!) rang me really drunk about a month ago saying how much he missed me, how his happiest times ever were when we were together (It was a really good relationship by the way, we finished for some stupid reason)......anyway, so he is saying all this stuff and I thought maybe its one of "those" calls and offered for him to come over (we have slept together a few times since splitting and are really good friends) to which he at first said yes but then no as he "cant fall for me again"...so we chatted for about 2 hours and that was that....I left it for a few days and sent a jokey text incase he felt like a d*ck for ringing me.....he didnt reply so I waited a few more days and sent another but ive not heard anything at all since that call........So what does this mean?? If he just wanted "that" he would of come over but if he wants more then why not do anything about it?? He knows I still love him even though ive been in relationships since and he is seeing some random girl, nothing serious.....so whats this all about?....I thought only women did the drunken text / phone thing!!?!?
The ex (of 5 years ago!) rang me really drunk about a month ago saying how much he missed me, how his happiest times ever were when we were together (It was a really good relationship by the way, we finished for some stupid reason)......anyway, so he is saying all this stuff and I thought maybe its one of "those" calls and offered for him to come over (we have slept together a few times since splitting and are really good friends) to which he at first said yes but then no as he "cant fall for me again"...so we chatted for about 2 hours and that was that....I left it for a few days and sent a jokey text incase he felt like a d*ck for ringing me.....he didnt reply so I waited a few more days and sent another but ive not heard anything at all since that call........So what does this mean?? If he just wanted "that" he would of come over but if he wants more then why not do anything about it?? He knows I still love him even though ive been in relationships since and he is seeing some random girl, nothing serious.....so whats this all about?....I thought only women did the drunken text / phone thing!!?!?
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Not a bloke, but i've been in similar situations, so this is miy thoughts.. Men do the drunken call thing, only women do it when drunk and emotional, and men do it when drunk and horny.
My guess is, he was feeling drunk and horny, thought about you, knowing you have had a few fun times togther since splitting up, and texted hoping for some nookie...
Then, after some texting and chatting, he started to sober up, and realised his horn was dying and coming over would be hassle, when he now just wanted some shut eye.
He also didnt want the hassle of having to deal with you in the morning, especially if he is seeing someone- he tells you its noone special, but guys dont always tell you everything!
Dont take it personally, and dont waste time thinking about it, or him. And if i were you, dont invite him over for any more nookie sessions. It may seem harmless and string free, but it will stop you moving on properly.
My guess is, he was feeling drunk and horny, thought about you, knowing you have had a few fun times togther since splitting up, and texted hoping for some nookie...
Then, after some texting and chatting, he started to sober up, and realised his horn was dying and coming over would be hassle, when he now just wanted some shut eye.
He also didnt want the hassle of having to deal with you in the morning, especially if he is seeing someone- he tells you its noone special, but guys dont always tell you everything!
Dont take it personally, and dont waste time thinking about it, or him. And if i were you, dont invite him over for any more nookie sessions. It may seem harmless and string free, but it will stop you moving on properly.
He does ring sober in the middle of the day though....and comes over for a chat & cuppa, he has done since we split all that time ago (we dont always sleep together).....we are really good friends and then this happened and now its like he has fallen off the face of the earth, nothing.......
Ahh sod it......
Bl00dy men!!
Ahh sod it......
Bl00dy men!!
My advice would be this:-
1) If he rings up drunk and saying that he misses you, thank him and then tell him that if this really is the case, then you'll wait for his call saying all this when he is sober.
2) Do not sleep with him whether he's sober or drunk. He is not getting the chance to truly miss you if you keep giving him morsels of yourself.
3) Hard to do...but disassociate your self from him. You cannot be his friend if you are still hankering after him....you have unfinished emotional business.
4) If you remove yourself from his life like the above suggestions...then he will either just disappear or he will come back to you properly, as your partner. Don't settle for an in between situation. Ultimately, it will get you nowhere!
Kira000's answer is brutally spot on, so absorb it.
Good luck.
1) If he rings up drunk and saying that he misses you, thank him and then tell him that if this really is the case, then you'll wait for his call saying all this when he is sober.
2) Do not sleep with him whether he's sober or drunk. He is not getting the chance to truly miss you if you keep giving him morsels of yourself.
3) Hard to do...but disassociate your self from him. You cannot be his friend if you are still hankering after him....you have unfinished emotional business.
4) If you remove yourself from his life like the above suggestions...then he will either just disappear or he will come back to you properly, as your partner. Don't settle for an in between situation. Ultimately, it will get you nowhere!
Kira000's answer is brutally spot on, so absorb it.
Good luck.
I am not a male I am afraid, but atleast i have a bit of experience in this. I am very good friends with one of my previous boyfriends and he rings me, whilst drunk, on an almost monthly basis to declare love. It is not that he is interested in sex because we never actually slept together. He admitted to me once, when he had sobered up, that he does it because he gets lonely and I am the only girl he ever had a real connection with. Maybe this is the same situation with your ex, he may have just been lonely and knew you would give him a bit of attention. I have found it is best to just end such conversations quickly so neither of us regret it.
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