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Weaza_cfc | 12:04 Tue 23rd Nov 2004 | Parenting
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I have solid proof that my 11 year old brother has been looking at topless pics of various well known female celebrities on the net. Does anyone know how i should tackle this? Should i simply approach him and tell him to stop, should i inform our parents, or what? Its an embarrassing situation i do not know how to handle. If he was older, i would leave alone, after all, most boys get into that sort of thing *pardon the expression* at some stage. But at 11?! Please help me!!
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Sorry Weaza, as far as I'm concerned, it's got nothing to do with you.  If he was looking at sites aimed at adults aged 18 years & over that would be a different matter (but as its only topless pics then that is unlikely).  So what if he's 11?  By that age he will already know what a pair of breasts look like (just like virtually all other boys in his year at school.)
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I suppose i'm being interfering again! thank you

It depends how worried you are about this.  How old are you?  How did you find out - do you share the computer, or did you go snooping?

Can you talk to your brother about it? It would probably be best to talk to him before you involve your parents. But at the end of the day your mum and dad are there to help with your problems.

These days it's easy to find topless pictures on the net for free. A few years back a boy would have had to save up his pocket money and then find a newsagent that would sell him the magazine he wanted, and then get over the embarrassment hurdle at buying p0rn in the first place! Sometimes technological advance isn't necessarily for the better!

 

 

I'd be inclined to leave well alone. Looking at topless pictures is a harmless aspect of male development - if it veers into more 'adult' areas of the web, then you need to be concerned. Why not have a discreet word with your parents about computerised parental control - without going into specific details, just the notion that your brother is growing up, the web is a wide world, tc., and see if they want to limit the sites your brother can access. 
if he can buy "the sun" then he must surely be able to look at images of a similar nature online - obviously if the images get pornographic then maybe a word should be had with your parents but topless shots doesn't really count as porn any more does it?
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ursula: I am 15. The computor is a shared one. As you probably know, when you type in a required destination on the address bar, you often get a list of previously viewed sites that begin with the same letter e.g. when i typed in "www.theanswerbank...." I got lists revealing my bro had been looking at www.toplesscelebs... *btw, if these come up as hyperlinks, i apologise - it was not intentional!*. Will take on board everyones advise, thank you.  

Hi Weaza_cfc

I suggest you wipe the internet history from your computer (Tools > Internet Options and click on the Clear History button).

Wait and see if those sites come up again. If they do, then either have a word with your brother and tell him that you find it upsetting on the shared computer, and suggest he goes to an internet cafe if he really wants to look at such things; or talk to your parents about internet security/net nanny etc.

 

IAs some of the other ABers suggest, this is relatively normal for a boy of your brother's age and some boys develop quicker than others. But if it's bothering you then you need to talk to someone about it, if only to sort out your own feelings on the matter.

 

how do you know it wasn't your dad looking at those sites?  most 11 year olds know how to clear the url history better than the olds do.

 

However, you might want to discretely mention this to one of your parents as I've just checked that site (in the interests of research & accuracy of course!) and despite its name its not a website full of topless women.  Its a site that is a portal to other hardcore websites, which are totally inappropriate for 11 year old children.

 

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It is not my father this time ask-a-stupid; for all i know he probably uses these sites too, but i went on the comp before my bro went on (and only my brother went on after me) and they were not there, but they were when i went on afterwards.

ursula, thanks for the clear web history things.

Eleven years old is really not that young when it comes to curiosity about the female form.  (My husband once told me that when he was nine years old, he loved to watch "Wonder Woman" on TV because it made him "feel good" [though he didn't know exactly why, LOL] to watch Lynda Carter run around in her skimpy costume.)  My younger brothers used to sneak glimpses at Playboy magazine at the drugstore when they were pre-teens.  I think your brother's behavior is normal, and you could do more harm than good if you give him the impression that he's doing something "wrong" or "dirty." 

Are your parents in the same room as you when you use the computer, or is it in a separate room? If it's in a separate room, why not suggest it gets moved to the family room - he'd be less likely to look up that sort of stuff if your mum was on the sofa behind him!  Also, ask your parents to get some sort of internet monitor installed on the PC, e.g. net nanny. If you use AOL they have parental controls that parents can password to prevent access to unsuitable websites.

 

I'd agree with Ouisch that it's fairly normal for boys to look for pictures of women, but as ask-a-stupid says, sites can contain links to hardcore sites that definitely aren't suitable for under 18s.

 

If you are at all worried or embarrassed by the idea of your brother surfing the net for p0rn, then please talk to someone you can trust, it doesn't have to be a family member, you could talk to your teacher at school or a school counsellor, or maybe an aunty?

 

 

This is entirely normal for a lad of his age.  Testosterone is now kicking in and he is beginning to notice those ugly creatures looking like a pack of Martians standing on the other side of the payground are now a little more pleasing on the eye and not as childish as he first thought.

Shortly he will turn into Harry Enfield's Kevin and then your fun will really start!

A lot of AB-ers have said it is normal for boys his age to start getting interested.

Just know a lot of grown men think all kinds of pxrn is normal. Be sure you know the values of the person whose advice you're taking.
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Thanks to everyone for their advise - turns out i did not need to say anything at all. My dad found out *one of his little friends had been discovered, and the parents informed*. My parents just found it rather funny, but we have a net nanny now, just incase! Teasing starts up each time Britney Spears is on the tele *seems she was a popular serach option*, but apart from that the subject is left alone. Thank you all anyway!
Just leave him to it. After all you can see a topless woman everyday of the week at every newspaper shop in the country if you want to. He's not doing any harm to anyone so let him have his fun. I can think of some worse sites he could be looking at!

hey weaza im 14, c'mon u must've gone on *those sites* before! i know i do, and if i had the oppurtunity i would've done so at 11 aswell... like most other people say its perfectly normal. and i wouldnt worry about him going on2 hardcore stuff, no kids like that rele. i still find it slightly disgusting as there are 2 many body parts that i already have on there! 2 much info lol anyways he will probably be back on those sites in a year or so!

im quite annoyed with myself, as i consider myself to be pretty computer smart, but im feeling a bit of a n00b right now, as i did not know how to clear the url! thanks for that ask-a-stupid! now i only have the spysweeper internet tracking files to delete... im sure i'll figure it out sometime ;) lol

newayz bi bi going 2 c how 2 temporarliy disable spy sweeper, i'll get that bludy program soon! lol bi

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