Starmer & Lammy A Marriage Made In...
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I was hoping someone might have some useful suggestions to my problem. I am disabled and unable to work, and my husband works 3 to 4 days a week, and I feel really bored with my life. When my husband comes home, he's tired and wants to relax, but I've been on my own all day and want to have a conversation, so we end up arguing because of it. Because we don't have a lot of money, we can't go on holiday much, which I really feel I need. Since we've last been on holiday, a lot of tough things have happened, - we were involved in a car accident, I had to have an operation, our cat died, so I could do with a break. I know I've mentioned a lot about going on a holiday, but what I would really like help with is how can I spend my time better? what can I do while I'm on my own? - I know it's sounds very sad, but I don't have any friends other than my husband, because I went away to college, so all the friends I knew there all live miles away and we've lost contact and I haven't their phone numbers or anything so it's not as if I can go out with them, it's just me and my husband and as I said, he works and when he comes home he doesn't want to do anything. Recently, I've been feeling like I can't be bothered to do much, there's not even a reason to get up in a morning, and because I'm on my own all day, no one sees me, so to be honest, some days I've not even brushed my hair until 10 minutes before my husbands due home in the evening. I do hope someone can help me.
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Read a book.
Specifically, read a big long stodgy book which is difficult to read, so that it takes a long time. In the last couple of years I have read things like
"Collected Works of Enver Hoxha* Volume 4, 1966 to 1975" (Toronto, 1983)
and
"On Preserving the Juche Character and National Character of the Revolution and Construction" by Kim Jong-Il. (Pyongyang, North Korea, 1997)
Worst of all (or best of all, depending on how you define boredom) is "Mein Kampf" by Adolf Hitler. I found that "Mein Kampf" was badly written (to be precise, it was not "written" at all - it was dictated by Hitler to Rudolf Hess, who wrote it down - and thus reads like a long-winded speech rather than intellectual writing). In order to take it in, I found that I had to read it out loud to myself, rather than going through the motions of scanning my eyes over it. It was deadly boring but ultimately also fascinating as an insight into how Hitler thought about things.
[I'm going off on a tangent here] To be precise, it is clear from reading "Mein Kampf" that Hitler (in his own mind) genuinely believed, even as early as 1924, that it was necessary to kill all Jews in the world in order to save all human civilisation and life on Earth (and not just the supremacy of Aryan/Germanic civilisation). In other words, he wasn't just exploiting existing prejudices for short-term gains.
* the communist dictator of Albania (1944 to 1985)
There are some good answers posted here and lots of ideas of things you could do. I think you have got to keep your mind active, maybe you could buy one of these magazines that is full of competitions you can enter, this would keep your mind ticking over? good luck and hope you use some of these suggestions. x
Thank you to you all for your ideas on what I could do. I like the idea of finding a support group as suggested by 'in a pickle' (great name by the way!) and also my husband and I have talked about getting a little dog (as suggested by Gypsy) which will be company for me and it will also give me something else to think about, and my husband is thinking of changing his job, to work from home. I'm going to start getting some magazines each week which have lots of puzzles and competitions , so you never know, I might win a trip round the world!! Thank you again,
I hope you have a nice christmas.
Loads of good ideas here. How about contacting social services/job centre and find out what jobs you could do, despite your disability? I am sure there must be loads! There are some jobs working from home, online, looking after websites and forums etc. Ebay and Amazon always need staff, I believe.
How about writing a book!? And doing some illustrations!? Even if you think you aren't up to it, there is a book in everyone! You could write a kids story and dedicate it to a child you know (friend/relative/child of friend etc) and do the pics yourself. This is not only therapeutic, but you may actually hit on a gold mine. Plus if it is funny you will make yourself laugh, which is all important!
Also, could you and your husband invite some friends and neighbours round for the evening? THat way you will be broadening your social circle, and those people will continue to visit you during the day, when they are free.
Also, there are lots of lastminute.com holidays around, very cheaply. Take a break. Insist that your husband has one! He sounds like he needs it...xxx
You've had some great replies already so I won't repeat except to say that do try to give the support group idea a go. As you can see nobody understands quite as well as those in a similar situation.
I must say that since my lovely sons bought me a computer & patiently taught me how to use it I've never been bored! All the best. x
Sounds all too familiar..... as though you`re in a slow downward spiral towards clinical depression.........please seek professional help asap but try to stay off medication and/or alcohol.
It will probably take a long time but there is light at the end of the tunnel.........and no, it`s not an oncoming headlight!
Take care of yourself and please keep us posted. Best wishes.