Does everyone deserve a second chance?

[clipclop1]

Long story... but basically I caught my boyfriend nearly cheating.... he didnt.... but obviously the idea and inclination was there...
he would like to try to build things back up over time... I honestly don't know if i can see past what has happened... i would like to... but not sure if my own morals and values will let me agree to it again... we had so many plans and things were great and i feel sometimes that it IS worth saving....
honest opinions are welcome... but be gentle... fragile! lol!

[poodicat]

Hi clipclop hope you can

[Mr Veritas]

Just remember the old saying:~
"Hurt me once,shame on you. Hurt me twice shame on me!"
I wish you all the best.
Lots of people will give you advice here(hopefully) but only YOU can really decide what is best.
You have to go with your intuition,follow that and you can't be wrong.

"Love is never easy,but without Love what do we have?"

[China Doll]

Agree with Mr V... Some people can get past this sort of thing and their relationship goes on to become better and stronger than it ever was, others go under. I think only time and your own gut feelings will tell you what is best for you, no one can really advise even if they've been through it as the situation is entirely subjective to the individual(s) involved.

Good luck and I hope whatever is right/best for you is the ultimate outcome.

[1955]

Yes - everyone deserves a second chance

[karma22]

Some can some can't.

I agree with China Doll.

Hope it works out for you x

[MarkRae]

> but basically I caught my boyfriend nearly cheating

If you had the opportunity to sleep with the sexiest man of your dreams, and you knew that your partner had almost no chance of finding out, would you...?

Please try to reply honestly, remembering that you're only human like the rest of us...

[tamborine]

Rise above it - Y let t'other have whats yours

[beso]

Most long term relationships face this kind of issue at some time. It is far more common than many young people imagine. It is not something that committed couples share with their family or friends.

It is a signal that you both need to start paying more attention to your relationship.

You actually have far less to deal with than many others whose partners went beyond just thinking about it. This has brought up the issue without much of the potenial destruction.

A lot depends how much you value what you have. Also don't be unrealistic about the potential for another partner in future being perfect for a whole lifetime.

[society]

I agree with Mr. Veritas, go with your instinct. However, you'll may always have this feeling of him cheating in the back of your mind. This could make you very miserable and hence put a strain on the relationship.

[clipclop1]

thanks for the answers guys... im too much in my own head and its nice to get other opinions... and mark... no, im the kind of person who is loyal to the very end... if i was THAT desperate to sleep with someone.. i would finish my relationship first. i see your point thou... but i always think.. treat people how you like to be treated... i could never stab someone in the back like that if i truly loved them... which is why im so torn... coz id never do it to him, so why should i let him ( possibly) do it to me...but at the same time it really was a great thing we had...
argh... nightmare! lol!
thanks guys xxx

[chrissa1]

I think the answers you have had clipclop are very sound and that really only you can decide. No one on here knows what he is really like, only you do.

[coccinelle]

He nearly cheated but he didn't this proves he can control his impulsions, think yourself lucky. lots of men have inclinations but if they stop themselves it shows they're faithful. Honestly, you can build a relationship with someone like that.

[4getmenot]

yes second chance but remember its a fresh start and you cant keep what happened in your head or bring it up in every little argument. If you agree to take him back, forgive and forget thats what you must do.

[snags]

''He nearly cheated but he didn't this proves he can control his impulsions''

Does it? clipclop1 'caught' him nearly cheating... that's not quite the same thing...

[clipclop1]

yeah... looong story... basically he did have the chance to cheat... but didnt.... however, apparently said that the next chance he gets... he would take it and kiss this girl... doesnt really look good does it....

[4getmenot]

oh well then get rid coz that doesnt sound like he would even appreciate the second chance

[snags]

''said that the next chance he gets... he would take it and kiss this girl''

What a sh1t. Get rid. You deserve better.

[clipclop1]

Easier said than done wizard... just because age seems to be on my side doesn't really mean anything....
this all occured in exceptional circumstances... loooong story but i understand HOW it came about...iv known him for a long while and if id have known he was a rat before this i would have never touched him with a barge pole... i know that this isn't like him to mess about... but then again... he's proved he HAS got it in him... :(

[4getmenot]

and that he'd still happilly do it.