The emotional stages after a break up...

[Mcvj]

Hello everyone! How are we today?

So, some of you might be happy to know that my partner and I have finally decided to call it a day. I've been taking this really well so far - in fact, the only day that I was actually a mess was on the day that it happened. I had to pull myself together because I had an exam on the following day and needed to continue to revise and not wallow.

Anyway, my friends have all commented on how well I'm doing, however there is a niggling thought in the back of my mind that I might just be in 'denial' (hate that term), which I believe is meant to be one of the stages people reach in these situations, along with grief.

Any thoughts? It happened on the 18th April so it's been a few weeks. He was a massive a** the way that he was treating me so in a way it feels like relief.

[ummmm]

You were probably already over him by the time you split.

[4getmenot]

its not being in denial, you are having these thoughts because it is a big change in your life. But you have to carry on being strong and keep it in yor mind its a change for the better. Next step is to start concentrating on yourself, treat yourself and know you can be happy by yourself. Good luck xx

[Mcvj]

Ummmm, that's a good point - If you see my last posts I took him back after having a one-night stand. At that point I think that it was due to the fear of losing him but in hindsight I believe that in the following months I had switched off from the relationship.

4getmenot - thank you for the kind words. You'll be happy to know that I am concentrating on myself, my career, and on not feeling sorry for myself!

xx

[4getmenot]

Good for you!! But every now and then it will hit you when you are alone at night etc. But as I said think of all the good changes it will bring. If you could read some of my posts from 4 years ago when I was with a cmplete @rse but kept going back to him you would see how much of a rollercoaster I went on. But now I read them all and laugh at it. I have been with my bloke now for 3 years and couldnt be happier :-)

[ummmm]

When I split with my ex it was over a long time before that. It's just not nice to admit it.

[wiggal]

Hey Mcvj,

I recently split with my boyfriend of 6 years, and altough I dont think I had realised it up til the end, things had not been right but I seemed to tell my self they were!
It was only someone else coming along (although I never cheated on my ex) that made me realise there was more out there to what I was so used to and the routine I seemed to be in!

I had some really rubbish emotional times, but I did get upset a lot less then I thought I was going to or would have done, but then I had some one by me who I guess distracted me so I was concentrating on him and going forward then my ex and what I had left behind!

[Mcvj]

Distraction is the key then! Right, I'll get my glad rags on, haha!

[sunflower68]

ooo mcvj don't worry that it's gonna hit you later; I doubt it will although I don't know you. The very same thing has happened to myself and a few friends in the last few years and the initial relief was never really replaced by anything, in fact it was more a happy high that continued!!
You may find you love the single life more than you expected - I didn't date again for 18 months quite happily.
Just think of the fun, freedom and the dating you can look forward to....

[chelle7272]

I imagine that if he was such an a*** then you had priobably already got to the'point of no return', in that you had already convinced yourself that ending it was the only way to go.
I think by the time you're there, there won't be any regret, and you're not in 'denial' (hate that term too). Enjoy your new life, and if at some point you do feel some sorrow about it, it's only because you may be lonely in comparison but it won't last and you'll be fine

[Mcvj]

Aww. thanks guys - you're lovely!

I'll update you on the single life, might even make a few of you jealous ;) I doubt it though, ha