A portrait of modern marriage, or just a damn shame?

[Bbbananas]

I'll keep this as brief as poss; bearing in mind the story takes place over 21 years:
2 people meet when with other spouses. He pursues her relentlessly, she initially refuses, but eventually they get together. After a lot of mess, & no 'innocent' party except for 4 kids, it is Happy Families & remarriages all round.
All is blissful as can be for 10 years, then Husband has mid-life crisis - meets a new 'best mate' who is an avid pub man & general rogue. Laughs all round for a while but after 3 yrs Husband has become a near-alcoholic never out of the pub, cavorts with other women (though not unfaithful), gets into debt, is made redundant & all culminates in physical violence. More than once.
Wife leaves Husband, goes to police & court. Husband devastated & promises to go back to 'man he once was'. Wife gets new boyfriend, Husband scares him off, wife gives Husband another chance. Amazingly, he does go back to his old loving self but wife cannot forget, although forgives. Ends marriage for good - hardest decision she's made in her life.

No divorce, separation amicable including the odd 'night' together. Wife has lovely caring part-time boyfriend, husband happy on his own. They meet this w'kend. Reminisce. Have emotional, tearful, honest heart-to-heart. It is obvious love still exists for both. Both confused - don't want to reconcile but miss being together. Don't want marriage - but resist divorce.
Wife now thinking - is this normal? Weird? Incomprehendable? Understandable? Justice of sorts?
Any thoughts?

[ummmm]

He has feelings....lol

[Bbbananas]

I always knew he had...... I had Faith (and Hope, and, more than that - Charity).

[ummmm]

He's much nicer than he pretends to be :-) x

[DEN53]

ha ha Salla - not my doing - 20 year old son getting his own back on me while I was out for showing his baby photos to his mates last night.

[China Doll]

Hard to say really... Personally in that situation I'd get rid of the lost love. I mean it's not like you need another friend and you already have a fella so I personally wouldn't be able to work out what role this chap played in my life other than to occasionally cause unnecessary heart ache although innocently done. I'd see it as dead wood... BUt I am pretty unsentimental and ruthlessly pragmatic.

That said, you're both fully growed up adults, (even more growed up than me actually!) and you'll do what's right/best for you in the situation, dofferent strokes and all that.

Plus it'd be another christmas prezzie off the list so works out well.... ;0)

[chattykathy]

It's really reassuring to find that other people are in a similar situation to me. I still love my ex (he's still my husband but we've been apart for 4 and a half years). We were married for 28 years and I still feel he's my soulmate. I'm also with a lovely bloke now but find my yearning for the past is causing some problems. It's really difficult to let go! I hope it's possible because it's making me too sad :-(

[Bbbananas]

Christmas prezzie china? You must be joking..... He gets an insulting card and that's it...!!