Infatuation

strawberryblonde | 18:34 Tue 27th Jul 2010 | Relationships & Dating

23 Answers

I met a man over a year ago and we have constantly flirted despite him being in an off on relationship, we spend hours talking when bump into each other and had a night together but I got cold feet months after I told his partner he ranted at me but stayed in the bar with me rather than following her ( I know this was wrong but I was upset). I avoided him for ages but now over the last few weeks he seems to be everywhere I go and just stares so last Friday I spoke to him and he told me his entire life story and how bad he is feeling i wanted to walk away but couldn't the following day I saw him with his partner but whe he spoke she went off at him and he left her alone.
I am now seeing someone else not seriously we both know this but I cant get the other one out of my head when I see him I feel alive.

Any advice on how I can get him out of my head appreciated .

partners not 'putting out'

i'm attracted to an older guy.....please help!!

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askyourgran

Why don't you just leave him alone, ignore him. He has made no effort to end his relationship with his partner, and just playing you along. Enjoying a bit of danger. You have headed this thread 'infatuation', which is exactly what I think it is. After a year I would have thought you would have got together if it really meant anything. And remember this, if this guy is running true to form you can expect the same treatment if he dumps his GF for you.

strawberryblonde

Question Author

I know it is infatuation when I see him its like playing games and I feel good but when spend long periods with him its clear he is a bit of a depressive and feels guilt about a lot of things, but I just find it so hard to let go for good

cazzz1975

its addictive because you dont know whether your coming or going with him, instead of having thoughts of fate and thinking about him a lot I suggest you stick to the facts.

he has cheated on his partner (I dont buy the whole on/off guff, that is said to get you into bed or for you to pity him if he pours on the bad relationship story)
despite you having these feelings for him he clearly does not reciprocate to a point of wanting an exclusive relationship with you.

time to wake up and move on.

Mick-Talbot

everytime you start thinking of him just sing this
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

4getmenot

If you have these feelings you shouldnt be with this other guy, become single and concentrate on yourself for a while. You just want what you know you are not going to get.

4getmenot

Which is why you arent serious with the other guy as I dont think you are ready to be in any relationship.

strawberryblonde

Question Author

I really dont know what I want he makes my heart beat faster when I see him. Makes my night enjoyable. He left his previous 2 partners for other women including the woman he is with now who left her husband for him. He seems so nice but its obvious he is not. He has told me many things about this woman which if I repeated she would be devestated and I wonder now if he has told me this wanting me to tell her (knowing that I already told her we slept together)I think he is too much of a coward to just end it.
I'm all confused.

cazzz1975

he obviously uses his charm over you, you feel excited because he makes you feel good about yourself with his patter, you and a few other women are addicted to it.

cazzz1975

the thrill is that he is someone else's and he is stealing time away to be with you.

if you were with him full time he would carry on doing the same thing except you would be in his girlfriends position, poor woman

chokkie

I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Drop him like you would a hot potato!

China Doll

You told his girlfriend you slept with him? To what end? To hurt her and humiliate yourself? You want to have a word with yourself my love. He sounds like a creep and you're not coming across too well either I'm afraid.

I think some time out of any form of relationship would be good for you. I think you need to remember who you are and the person you want to be. I don't think this relationship (if you can call it that) sounds healthy.

strawberryblonde

Question Author

I know you are all right but the thrill of him gets me through the boring reality of life, my last serious partner was a control freak and it ended bad with domestic violence and I think I want fun rather than commitment think commitment scares me .
x

4getmenot

then there you have it, you do it because your life is boring. So do something for yourself for a change, go out, meet up with mates, just be single for a while and prove to yourself you dont need a man to get to the highs