Oh beatice! Read your own message back to yourself, but pretend that someone else wrote it about themselves. What would you advise them? I'm sure you know. It sounds as though you are a very strong woman and your partner is only good at one thing, procreation, which almost any male can do, without effort. You are going to be the parent who loves, supports and teaches your child. Be stronger than ever now and keep separate from this person on a financial basis, in other words, do not be tied to him in any way financially as he will be a heavy and severely punishing weight which will pull you down. Keep in touch with him by all means if you wish, but only if you wish. He may then make more of an effort to be decent. At the moment he has everything he wants handed to him on a plate, so course he wants to extend it. Now I won't be rude here, but I have a filthy mind when it comes to men wanting to extend it, because I'm gay and can't be bothered with whatever it is they are extending! Oh sorry beatrice but I work with lots of naughty postmen so I have become too worldly wise. Though...may I say, even I am not worldly wise enough! I still make mistakes of my own, though I can see your situation clearly. You are being far too soft with him. If he can't afford something, he shouldn't have it. Leave him to stew my dear!