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mike11111 | 20:42 Sat 16th Oct 2010 | Body & Soul
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I have a verbal problem. I know it's not Tourettes, 'cos I don't go around shouting F**k, t**ty, w**k every other two minutes. However, I do have a problem coordinating my brain with my tongue. I got on the bus today, having partaken of a light Saturday liquid lunch at my club, only to be preceded by two "chavvish ladies" (mother and daughter), accompanied by a rather young male dog (you didn't need bifocals to see that it was male). The dog was somewhat excited, and, to cut a long story short, was a bit of a nuisance. The mother and daughter kept making a fuss of the dog, which only got it more excited. Just as I was about to alight mummy chav (I deduce that from the fact that she had just a few more wrinkles and tattoos than the daughter, though I had to put my specs back on just to make sure) announced to the whole company, "I'm sorry, he's a little bit frisky". Before I could stop myself, I heard myself saying, "Madam, if I was a dog sqaushed between two rough bitches, I might feel a little frisky myself". What can I do to stop myself saying these things?
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go by taxi
Mike, it's as I posted last night, you are suffering from AB-itis - we can't work out when we can respond as we do on here, and when we must restrain ourselves in public.... you are not alone ;-)
Just go with the flow, sounds acceptable to me.
Did the dog end up giving her one?
Well. mike, I know ti must have been embarrasing for you, but I had to chuckle, ......can you maybe think before you speak!.............If not!......well there we go then!...............that's just you!...........Folk will need to accept you the way you are!..................
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You folk are great! Here am I, taking the Fosters out of myself and you all feel sorry for me. LOL squared.
"What can I do to stop myself saying these things?"

ignore them?
Why on earth would you want to stop saying things like, that? I'm going to take note and wait for the next available opportunity to use that line!!
"Madam" ? You're lucky you weren't bottled.
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Your're welcome ck1. Thank f**k for that! For a moment I thought that people were treating me seriously. If I think of any more one-liners, I'll let you know.
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What's wrong with "Madam"? Perfectly respectable term,and one which I was brought up to use in addressing a "Laydee!" corse, them wot wuz drug up wood prbly say missis.
Did the chavettes both give you one?
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I wish to announce my retirement from this site. I have tried over the past few months to be ever so whimsical, but when askyourgran starts taking me seriously, it's time I saw a doctor. If my old buddy Answerprancer comes on, tell him that I am indisposed and lots of handbags from me. Bonsoir!
Bon soir, mon amí.
see you on the morrow mike ;)
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You smooth-talking b*st*ds! No wonder you always score and I'm left to cry on my own.
chavvish ladies are bints or ho's.
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Funnily enough, I typed the word "Lady" in here the other day, only to have it rpleace by "lady" LOL
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Don't believe this. LOL How can you get away with saying "bints" in the plural whilst I can't say "Lady" in the singular?
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