How do I get/stay out of the "FRIEND ZONE"?

[MV8291]

So, over the years, I've had a number of female friends, some of whom I've felt strong romantic attraction to. When I've had the courage to broach the subject I always get one of two responses, either: "that would be weird, we are too close as friends" or "that would be weird, you're like a brother to me". How is it that they have never considered me as a serious option? Is it that they're afraid of what might happen to our friendship if something goes wrong, or am I just sending out bad relationship vibes. Any help greatly appreciated, especially from a girl who has been on the other side of this situation. Thanks in advance!

[joeluke]

Those kind of responses from girls are just their way of telling you tactfully that they don't fancy you

Sorry to be so blunt but it's true

[ummmm]

They look at you as a friend.

[MV8291]

thanks for your honesty joeluke, your answer makes sense indeed.

[joeluke]

Maybe ask these female friends if they can find a suitable girl for you?

[beso]

There is a lot to do with chemistry in this. Women are attracted to men who smell different because this indicates they have a different immune profile that would be good to add to their children's genetics. That is what the "like a brother" comment is based on.

One day, quite out of the blue, some girl will fall head over heels with you. Hopefully she will be someone you can be friends with as well.

There is no point asking them for romance. They let you know if they fancy you.

[andy-hughes]

The ty[pe of friendship - or relationship - you are going to have with a woman is determined pretty early on.

If a woman fancies you, as advised, she will let you know.

If she has established a 'friendship' relationship with you, then she is comfortable with telling you hings she confides to a friend, but not to a boyfriend - hence the 'weird' response.

The simple fact is, it's pretty uncommon, though not unknown, for a woman to change her feelings towards a friend - but friendship to fancy is so rare, that the golden rule is, look for the signals. If your lady friend is fancying you, she will let you know, don;t worry.

The difficulty is - if you fancy her, and she is not giving the signals. Be very honest - is she giving signals, or are you seeing signals that you would like to be there, so you put them there. yes, she may be tactile, but that's comfort, not lust, so be very very honest about her attitude towards you.

Lastly, if you do fancy her, and your feelings are not returned, you must NOT let her know in any way, shape, look or gesture, how you feel.

It's a line that's simple to cross, virtually impossible to step back from - she will never view you with that same feeling of comfort and security again. How can she tell you about her latest target when you she knows she is hurting you? That is the way good friendships go sour.

So - if she is your friend, that is pretty much how she;s going to stay - so no vibes from you will keep your friendship and save embarrasment all round.

[ummmm]

I fell for my mate....in the end. I've never been happier.