Jobs & Education1 min ago
Post Christmas Diet!
2 Answers
Post Christmas Diet
'Twas the months after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The biscuits I'd nibbled, the sherry I'd taste
At the Christmas parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the shops (less a walk more a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the Bacardi, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you,but please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the garlic cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional pounds have vanished.
I won't have a cup-cake-not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have chocy biscuits, or hot new bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all - a good diet!
anon.
'Twas the months after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The biscuits I'd nibbled, the sherry I'd taste
At the Christmas parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the shops (less a walk more a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the Bacardi, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you,but please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the garlic cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional pounds have vanished.
I won't have a cup-cake-not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have chocy biscuits, or hot new bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all - a good diet!
anon.
Answers
1 to 2 of 2
Great poem - and so true for so many of us! Seriously though, if you really want to lose weight (and not just suffer!) then go low-
10:22 Thu 15th Mar 2012
Great poem - and so true for so many of us! Seriously though, if you really want to lose weight (and not just suffer!) then go low-carb/high fat. It really works and, once you get over the sugar/bread addiction, it's easy. And you don't have to give up everything tasty to munch on celery sticks. I eat cheese and butter and cream - as well as lots of lovely meat and fish with tasty green veg and I never have to leave the table feeling hungry. Give it a go if you really want to lose weight!
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