Problem Partner

[Meg888]

Hi. My partner and I are splitting up, he's looking at viewing a couple of places today, but I'm not holding out much hope of him leaving anytime soon. He's been causing absolute mayhem for the past week, and it looks like to continue. We have a joint tenancy (it's unofficial, I knew the landlord) the telephone/internet connection is in his name (as are most of the bills) I've said I will take over them when he leaves, obviously we used to share the bills, but I don't see why I should foot the lot if he continues to stay as he's now threatening not to pay towards them anymore as he is 'leaving'. The new month of bills for us starts 25th of the month, so I said if that's the case then he should be out by then and I'll take over them completely. I haven't got the financial means to move out, he said he doesn't want to keep the house we live on but like I say he's delaying leaving. He has to do work from home, I'm thinking of contacting BT and getting the telephone/internet connection switched off (I never use either) he needs the internet for work, as I said it's in his name - could I get it disconnected? This is not a spite move, I just need him out - and my thoughts are, if he cannot work then he'll have to move quickly. He's so abusive, and drunk every night - so he kicks off then and then he does it again every morning before I go to work, and even then I get a constant stream of nasty texts and emails. I've a teen daughter with mild special needs who's literally hid out in her bedroom for the past week. Sorry this is a bit long winded, but I'm close to the end of my tether.

[Meg888]

I've suspected a drink problem in him for a long time, I've tried talking to him into getting help all to no avail. He's disgusting when he's drunk, and he awakes the following morning still stotting from the night before so is equally as disgusting. And because he knows there is no future for us, he's on permanent trail of destruction, trying to cause as much emotional damage as he can before he goes.

[bednobs]

i don't think bt will let you canel the contract in his name. The great thing is though that if it's solely in hos name and he defaults, you wont have to pay it. I think YOU should refuse to start paying them

[AliceTickband]

If he is abusive inform police and change locks.......that is what I would do.....oh and change your mobile number......very easy to do, just contact your provider.

good luck

[ummmm]

Have you not got any brothers/uncles/cousins?

[Meg888]

Yes I could do that bednobs, and then when the bills come, return them. But my worry is this could go on for weeks, I was hoping by disabling his work network then he'd move on....

Alice, I've thought about changing the locks, but what if he was there (as I say he works from home, so he's there a lot through the day) - if he kicked off would they still do it?

Ummm, I don't a strong family network unfortunately. I have my bro-in-law and my nephew, both big lads, but I don't know if they would get involved.

I walked away from a voilent husband years ago with a few clothes and I had to start again from scratch - I've got a horrible feeling that despite my building up my home again, I'm going to be left with nothing. He is now in the process of cancelling all the bills in his name (I used his bank and I won't have my own set up until next week) - I'm was hoping all could just be transferred in to my name and bank, with the exception of the phone/internet - but until I'm set up, I can't transfer these, so I'm worried I'm going to lose contracts/good deals i.e. insurance/gas& elec etc.

[sinderella]

tell him that if he kicks off one more time you will phone the police.
and do it.
if only for your daughters sake
if you let this continue you are as bad as him
its hurting your daughter and you are letting it happen.