An update to my CSA question

[BlueHeaven]

Many of you really did help me when i asked my questions on the CSA about 3 weeks ago. I really appreciated it and wanted to give you an update.

Here's the original question http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Parenting/Quest ion253543.html

Well, they said on the phone they would send me a letter next week - that was 3 weeks ago and it finally arrived yesterday. Remember, I had finally agreed to go through with a DNA test, reluctantly. That was a very stressful week for me and after much soul-searching I decided a DNA test would be in everyone's best interests in the long run.

The letter I got yesterday said that the man in question has once again REFUSED a DNA test. This p**sed me off immensely because it had caused me so much stress and upset to have it all dragged up again by the CSA. They also said that because he has refused the test, they will now presume him to be the father of my child.

This is absolutely ridiculous!! How can they presume such a thing just because he refused the test? Because it would be too much trouble for them to track down the other man who's in another country that's why. Even though a quick search on the internet shows his address history for the last 8 years! They won't do that though, apparently it would be a matter for Interpol.

This has got me so cross that they can presume him to be her father, make him pay maintenance, when it could very well NOT be him! After all, it was only a one night stand, whereas I'd been in a relationship with the other guy for a long time.

I'm sure presuming parentage is helpful in some situations, but in mine it seems a bit ludicrous.

Phew, I needed that rant, sorry for going on about it. x

[PinkFizz]

I hate the CSA!!!!!!!!!! After 4 years they still havent managed to get a penny out of my ex!!!! Grrrrrrrr,,,,,,,

[Pippa68]

As he is down as a potential father & won't take a DNA test to prove otherwise, he will be liable (in the CSAs opinion!).

It is much easier for them to take this route, and let's be honest as long as it is easy for them then ok :o(

Let's see if the guy changes his mind when a back dated assessment lands on his doormat, eh?

xx

[missmuppet]

I think the reason that they will now presume he's the father is because if he refuses to take a test it's almost admitting that he has something to hide. If he really thought he wasn't the father he would take the test cos if it comes back negative he wouldn't have to pay for the test so if he's sure he isn't the father he's got nothing to lose. As for the other man, the csa have no juristiction if the father is in another country so even if they tracked him down they couldn't do anything about as he is only legally obliged to pay maintenence if he's resident in this country. I know this must be so annoying for you but I used to work for the CSA and believe me i have seen some people do some awful things to get out of paying (absent mothers were always worse that absent fathers)

[Pippa68]

That's another thing that gets my goat..the term 'Parent With Care' Vs the term 'Absent Parent'.

My husband isn't an absent parent. He is there for his daughter whenever she needs him ~ and she knows it. He is only 'absent' because his ex wife decided she would be better off financially without him. A great deal of fathers are indeed 'absent' simply because they cannot get any contact whatsoever..despite paying maintenance.

Does this mean the father is always the 'Parent Without Care'? as for the term 'Parent With Care' don't get me started..it is a joke!

[missmuppet]

The official term that the csa use is not absent parent but non resident parent. I agree with you that alot of NRP's are in that position through no fault of there own but they have to have some kind of 'label' to define them from the parents with care. This is just a generic term, it doesn't mean that the NRP doesn't care as much or if not more but the PWC is at the end of the day the person with the child 'in their care'.

[Pippa68]

When my husband first dealt with the CSA he was known as the 'absent parent'. Generic term or not, it is not only offensive it is false.

It is especially hurtful when contact issues are in the fore, regardless of the fact that the CSA don't deal with that.

[Pippa68]

Sorry missmuppet ~ I have read through my posts and didn't mean it to sound like I was having a go at you :o)

The CSA have been the bane of our lives through one thing and another. Stealing �2,000 out of our bank account being one of them!

[missmuppet]

Hey pippa68, don't worry I know you weren't having a go and i can really understand how frustrated you must be about the whole thing. It's just when you have worked for the agency you find it hard not to defend it because an awful lot of the NRPs are really naughty and try anything and everything not to pay. There are always cases were the NRP is willing to be reasonable and these are the people I truely feel sorry for. I hope you get this thing sorted out. Good luck for the future. Take care now :-)