News0 min ago
son deliberately hurting me
18 Answers
Why do u think a son would do this....? My son has had a very chequered history and as a family we have always stood by him, assisting in anyway we can, even financially. However a month ago he borrowed £20 which I gave him on the understanding he pay it straight back when he gets his benefits. Anyway to cut a long story short, I asked him for it back he said he had paid into my a/c which he hadnt and because i challenged him, he left and we havent seen him since!!
Now he knows if he had said sorry I couldnt afford it as he has in the past no more would have been said we would have just added it to the total debt he owes us! So now he is not seeing any of us or speaking to us? He has even removed himself from FB probably to stop me seeing that on a daily basis hes ok because he knows I worry about him, btw he is almost 30! Just interested in other peoples opinion. TIA X
Now he knows if he had said sorry I couldnt afford it as he has in the past no more would have been said we would have just added it to the total debt he owes us! So now he is not seeing any of us or speaking to us? He has even removed himself from FB probably to stop me seeing that on a daily basis hes ok because he knows I worry about him, btw he is almost 30! Just interested in other peoples opinion. TIA X
Answers
tilly, sometimes our children change into people we find diffucult to understand, even to like. When they become adults and leave home, what they make of themselves is out of our hands. They can change into people we barely recognise as the children we put so much effort and love into. My youngest son is far worse than yours and after many years of putting up with...
12:32 Mon 02nd May 2011
Sorry to be blunt but he sounds like a spoilt brat the way he is acting - cant get his own way or face facts so he does a flounce to teach you a lesson
If he was 3 I could understand this behaviour, but 30?????
Leave him to stew and DON'T have him back until he admits the truth, apologises and repays the money.
If he was 3 I could understand this behaviour, but 30?????
Leave him to stew and DON'T have him back until he admits the truth, apologises and repays the money.
I know it hurts, but unless you toughen up a bit and stop being a doormat he will continue to do this to you, buy you wont do this as he is your son and it is a case of unconditional love...so this is going to be a never ending circle..he will be back in touch - I will bet on it - when he needs money.
tilly, sometimes our children change into people we find diffucult to understand, even to like. When they become adults and leave home, what they make of themselves is out of our hands. They can change into people we barely recognise as the children we put so much effort and love into. My youngest son is far worse than yours and after many years of putting up with atrocious behaviour from him, I finally refused to let him into our house until he could behave in a civilised, friendly manner again. He sees himself as a hard man and was abusive and agressive towards me, which I must admit frightened me into asking the police for advice. They recommended I not let him into my house anymore. I haven't seen him for 2 years now! It breaks my heart, but at the same time, my life has finally calmed down and I do not miss the man he has become. I miss the child and young man who had the potential and the upbringing to be a loving, caring, strong man. Yes, I know I did spoil him and his sister by always being there to help in every way whenever they asked, incl. lending them money when I could not afford to. But they conveniently forget that now ... To them, you do things their way or they don't want to know you!! It is so sad, but I now agree with those who say you have to be cruel to be kind. I wish I had some done things differently! So, don't beat yourself up, but don't give in to your son anymore either!!! Be strong!!
You are not supposed to worry or such an unscrupulous son who instead of taking oger his responsibility is just eating up his parents hard earned money. that something of shame to him. don't worry about him much as he is a matured adult and could take care of yours. If can fool his parents, he could fool anyone in the world to get his work done!